Brotherhood Of The Lost
by BTR'slovesong
Summary: James and Carlos' bond is strengthened and tested when a fun hike in the woods goes terribly wrong. Now, they must survive the relentless, unforgiving terrors in the vast wilderness of Mannitoba. How far will they go to keep each other alive? Will their vacation end in tragedy for one of them?
1. The First Day

**A/N Hi everybody! This is a project I have been working on since March. It's almost completely finished already! So expect updates very quickly, like every few days. I really hope you like this because it's been on my mind for months now. **

**Summary: The 4 boys go on their annual camping trip in Minnesota, while on break from LA life. Carlos and James stray off the beaten path and get lost in the deep, dense woods. They have to endure freezing temperatures, wild animals, and all sorts of dangers. Can the duo keep each other alive to survive until help arrives? **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Oh and I did research since I have never been to Minnesota or Manitoba, but if I get something wrong or make up a random lake or something, it's just cause I have no idea what is or isn't there.**

**Also, the Italics are flash **_**forwards, **_**rather than flash**_**backs**_**. Yeahh I got bored of my normal style of writing and I'm just shaking it up so bear with me, kk? Haha. It's also in first person (James' POV) which is something I very rarely do. So hopefully I don't screw this up to bad.**

**Enjoy? ;)**

_Carlos lay lifeless in my arms. His pale skin was nearly as white as the snow below us and his lips were blue. You didn't have to be a genius to know that any healthy person should never look this way, especially when that person was supposed to be a tan, vibrant Latino. I didn't want to know if he was alive or not. I couldn't bring myself to check. I just held him and rocked his tiny body as tears rolled out of my eyes and splashed onto his frozen cheeks. I wiped the teardrops away with my thumb, my calloused skin running gently over his smooth, cold cheekbones. I was disillusioned to think he would ever be able to survive through the night, not after what he had been through, but I couldn't ignore that glimmer of hope that sparked warm in my belly, despite the fact that I was close to hypothermia. Carlos wouldn't die on me, not here in this desolate, eerie place. Not when he was this scared and ill. I wouldn't allow it, and God surely wouldn't allow it, would he? Carlos was the one who was supposed to be protected and sheltered. He was nothing more than an innocent boy. He was little Carlos Garcia, boy of chubby cheeks and perpetual innocence. He was my baby brother, and nothing would ever happen to him on my watch. Maybe some would say I was in denial, already in a stage of mourning, because to anybody on the outside looking in it would seem that it would be nearly impossible for Carlos to live, that it would even take a miracle to survive something like this…_

Cold wind nipped harshly at my cheeks, but I was warm in my thermal long sleeve shirt, thick flannel, and North Face jacket. Crisp leaves crunched beneath my feet loudly and there was that mid-fall, dead-leaves smell in the air. Several feet ahead of me, I could hear Logan chat about the types of trees we passed by to anybody who would listen, which was actually nobody, but he didn't seem to notice. Kendall sang some classic rock songs under his breath as he kept pace beside Logan. Carlos shuffled beside me, kicking up leaves and mostly staying quiet while he took in the sights and sounds of nature, which was rare for my ADHD friend.

It was just like the good old days, back when we used to camp all the time together, and I was bitter sweetly reminiscent of those memories that seemed like a lifetime ago.

Don't get me wrong, I love LA. I love the sun and the city and the beach, I love the fame and the girls and my Cuda spray. But I love my band mates more, and back in the day, when we would camp the most, we weren't band mates yet. There was a time when we were just blood brothers, brothers of the ice, brotha's from other motha's. Whatever you want to call it, we were best dude friends. I missed just spending dude time with them. Things in LA were getting crazy as we were getting more and more popular with every radio interview and photo shoot we did. It was becoming kind of insane, and we had even been fighting over some really stupid things. The latest fight even forced us to move out and live in crazy places like boxes and cabanas or, in my case, a really rich old guy's apartment. Yeah, we aren't too proud of that day when we look back on it, but stuff like that kept happening more than it should. We were overworked and tired and the pressures of fame were getting to us, so it was safe to say that we needed a little adventure and bonding time. So I ditched the hair care products, microphones, makeup and tanning lotions and traded them in for a week in the woods in our home state of Minnesota, where there were no girls, no Gustavo, no adults, no lights and no fame. It was perfect.

"James, I have to pee," Carlos piped up, interrupting my thoughts. He wove back and forth on the dirt path, accidently banging into me and stumbling a bit. I reached out to steady him and laughed, only somewhat annoyed.

"Can't you wait 'til camp, 'Los? We'll be there soon," I assured him. It was late afternoon and I was anxious to get to camp by now so we could rest up and get ready for the next day. My stomach was grumbling like crazy and I wanted to make smores and sing goofy campfire songs with my friends.

"Nope, gotta pee now," Carlos said, hopping from one foot to the other. "I've been holding it all day."

I sighed. "Ok, I'll wait for you right here. But hurry up!" I told him. Carlos had a habit of getting distracted, a lot. I yelled up to Logan and Kendall that we would catch up to them because Carlos had to pee. They agreed and continued to walk. Carlos ran down the embankment and into the thick wooded area around us where he disappeared behind a tree. But not two seconds later, he appeared again with his pants unzipped, screaming.

"Carlos, what is it?" I asked, rolling my eyes. My younger friend quickly zipped his pants and stared behind him like some kind of three headed monster was there.

"I heard something!" Carlos yelled up to me. "It rustled behind that tree over there. Can you come down here and keep a look out so it doesn't attack me while I'm peeing?"

"Carlos, where do you come up with this stuff?" I asked. His imagination was way too wild for his own good. Carlos looked genuinely freaked out though and he was looking up at me with those stupid puppy dog eyes that he knew I couldn't say no to.

"Please, James? What if it comes and bites _it_ off while I'm trying to pee?" Carlos asked, gesturing down at his crotch area while emphasizing the word "_it."_ I burst out laughing because he was dead serious right now.

"Well if it's to protect your manhood I guess I better get down there," I said. I ran down the slight embankment that separated the trail from the woods and walked through the thick brush to get to Carlos.

"Ok, where did you hear this noise-making, penis-snatching monster?" I asked sarcastically, chuckling at my own immature joke. Carlos blushed and punched me in the bicep hard. I immediately stopped my cackling laugh and groaned, rubbing the pain out of my shoulder while giving him a dirty glare. For such a little person, he sure did pack a punch.

"Over there," Carlos said, pointing to the offending tree warily. "Let's go find a different tree."

"Carlos, are you kidding me? Just pee!" I said. But Carlos was already walking ahead of me to a different tree several yards away. I huffed and followed behind him.

"Guard me," Carlos instructed when he found his desirable and safe tree to relieve himself at.

"Carlos it's not like anyone can see you from here and I can assure you that the critters don't care what your junk looks like," I said. Carlos flashed me the dirtiest glare he could muster on his cherubic features and I held my hands up in defense.

"Can you please just pee so we can get back to camp and have dinner?" I asked. I could feel myself getting more and more impatient as my stomach grumbled and each second ticked by. I turned away from my paranoid friend so he could do his business. A few seconds later, I heard a "zip" and turned to Carlos.

"You good now?" I asked, but Carlos wasn't paying attention to me. He had his eyes fixated on something unseen ahead of him.

"Carlos?"

"Ssh! I heard something!" Carlos said excitedly. He glanced at me, his eyebrows scrunched up with anxiety, than back at whatever he "heard."

I sighed and grumbled about Carlos' overactive imagination. Carlos suddenly grabbed my arm and pulled, pointing at something and yelling in my ear.

"Carlos! What? Oh-!" I saw a flash of brown and a rustle of leaves, and my only thought was "bear, run!" So, dragging Carlos with me by the arm, I took off in a run, both of us yelling in terror at the giant grizzly that we were sure was following us.

"What is that thing?" Carlos cried while panting. I chanced a look back and skidded to a stop when I saw that the evil bear we had been running from was really just a deer galloping around. It hadn't been chasing us at all. In fact, he was probably just as scared as we were. The deer froze in place and looked at me with innocent, hesitant brown eyes that strikingly resembled Carlos'. I took in a breath and stared at the animal. He was probably the most innocent thing I had ever seen. The deer blinked his wide eyes and flitted away quickly in fear, as if it suddenly remembered that he was supposed to be scared of us.

"Wait," I said softly. I didn't want him to leave yet. I found myself overtaken by the graceful beauty of the scared creature, but he was gone in the blink of an eye.

"He was so prettyful," Carlos said. I frowned. I was kind of sad that we had perturbed the deer's peaceful existence.

"I know… Come on, can we please head back to camp now? The guys are probably wondering what we're doing."

"'Kay," Carlos agreed. We both took a few steps towards what we thought was camp, but we had turned in two separate directions.

"Carlos, camp is this way," I reminded him, pointing my finger to where I believed we came from. I was expecting Carlos to make a "duh" sound and follow me but instead he thought for a moment, confused.

"No, we came from this way James," Carlos said slowly. I shook my head. I was sure we hadn't come from the direction Carlos was pointing towards.

"No buddy, it's this way," I argued, but my voice was rising in pitch with doubt. Suddenly, nothing looked familiar to me. I had been too busy running for my life from a docile deer to pay attention to where we were going. "On second thought, how sure are you Carlos?"

Carlos shrugged and looked around nervously. "M-maybe 40 percent?"

"40 percent?" I cried.

"I don't know! Maybe we came from that way! Or that way!" Carlos exclaimed, flinging his arms in all different directions.

"Oh no," I whispered, pinching the bridge of my nose with my forefinger and thumb. My stomach gave a nervous twist. Could it be that Carlos and I were really lost? How far into the woods had we gone? There was no sign of a trail anywhere, just a thick cloud of trees and evergreens. Everything was green and brown. When I listened carefully, all I could hear was an occasional tweet of a bird or the rustle of wind and leaves. I could no longer hear Logan and Kendall's voices being carried thru the wind.

"What do we do?" Carlos asked after a couple of minutes of just standing there dumbfounded.

"I don't know," I said truthfully. "What direction does your gut say?"

Carlos jabbed his thumb to the right, but he looked unsure of himself. "I really think it's this way, James."

Since I couldn't trust myself, my gut was telling me to trust Carlos. So I put my hand on his back and nodded, indicating for him to start walking.

We crunched over leaves and wound our way through the trees, keeping our eyes open for anything that looked familiar, but that was kind of hard when most of our surroundings were made up of identical evergreens.

"This can't be the right way, we've been walking for too long," I said, running my hand through my long hair. Even though it was chilly out, I realized I was sweating. I was starting to feel a bit scared. "If this was the right direction we would have been on the trail by now."

"This has to be the right way," Carlos said, but now I knew he wasn't sure at all, he was only desperate.

"I don't think it is buddy," I said, putting my hands on his shoulders to stop him from walking. He turned and looked at me, and I could tell he was just as scared as I was.

"Oh my God James, we're l-"

"No, don't say it," I said strictly. "Don't say it 'til it's true. Don't freak out yet. Let's just try a different way now, ok?"

Carlos swallowed and nodded. I could already tell that I would have to concentrate on keeping Carlos calm through this, even though I wanted to freak out myself.

"Do you remember any landmarks you might have seen, like a rock or a weird looking tree or a fallen branch? Anything at all?" I asked hopefully.

Carlos thought for a moment, his small features scrunched up in concentration, than shook his head.

"I don't know James, I wasn't looking," Carlos said apologetically.

"It's ok buddy, we got this. Let's try a different direction," I said, trying to stay light and positive. Carlos trailed behind me as we tried to go a different way, and another way, than another way. Soon, the sun was low in the sky and the trees only seemed to get thicker.

"We're only going deeper in the woods," Carlos cried out, interrupting the silence. I turned around in surprise to see the small boy rip off his backpack and throw it down to the ground in an act of frustration. I could only watch as he kicked the dirt and dead leaves beneath him, his chin quivering in a classic tell-tale warning that he was upset.

"Carlos…" I started, but I realized there wasn't anything I could actually say to make this better when he looked up at me with those huge brown eyes.

"We're lost," he stated bluntly.

"I know Carlos," I said. There was no denying it any longer. For all we knew, we had just been walking around in circles, or worse, straying far away in the opposite direction of camp. We had no clue. There was no way to tell. Logan possessed our only compass, and even if we had one, Carlos and I had no idea how to use it.

"James, what are we going to do?" Carlos asked me tearfully. He waited for some type of answer to comfort him from his older brother that never came, blinking his eyes expectantly. I just couldn't form an answer. Finally, he slumped to the dirt floor and buried his face in his knees while I just stood and watched. My mind was racing, my heart was beating rapidly. Cold sweat dripped down my forehead and palms, and I wiped the sticky wetness away subconsciously.

We were lost. It was mid-fall in Northern Minnesota, and we were lost and alone in God knows how vast of wilderness and nobody knew where we were. As my mind passed over scenario after horrible scenario while brainstorming ways to get out of this, I didn't even notice Carlos start to cry until he whimpered out,

"I want Logan!"

I felt a small pang of hurt in my gut at that comment, but I ignored it and went to comfort Carlos.

"It's ok, bud. I bet Logan and Kendall already called for help. They'll be sending search parties soon. We just have to wait it out, ok?"

Carlos scrubbed his eyes with small, chubby hands. "We have no idea how to survive in the wilderness, James. What if they don't find us? I don't want something bad to happen to us!"

"Hey, calm down," I said softly, putting my hands on his shoulders. "Don't think like that, 'Litos. We'll find them if they don't find us. It'll be fine, buddy. I promise."

"What are we going to do?" Carlos asked me. "Should we keep walking?"

"No, it's getting dark out and I don't want to get anymore lost than we already are," I said. "I think we need to rough it out and spend the night out here. They won't send search parties until the morning."

Carlos looked scared about the notion of spending the night in the wilderness, but we had sleeping bags, food, and the supplies we needed to get through the night comfortably. We wandered around for a bit and found a small clearing, where we unloaded our large backpacks from our wary shoulders.

"I'm so sore and hungry," Carlos complained. He reached his arm up to massage his stiff neck.

"Me too," I agreed. I started pulling random supplies from my bag, while Carlos rummaged around to find everything we needed to start a fire.

"I guess it's a good thing we were boy scouts for so long," Carlos said while he created some kindling for the fire. I smiled as I remembered back in the day, when the boys and I were the four stars of the boy scouts group we were in. Each one of us had our own strengths, and together we all dominated the group and won every challenge that we were set up to do. It was all fun and games back then to figure out how to survive in the wilderness, but now that we really were truly lost, something we never thought would happen, it didn't seem so fun anymore.

"Fire looks good, Carlitos," I said, giving the Latino the praise I knew he needed. Carlos beamed proudly in response, delighted to receive a compliment.

"Let's have some hotdogs," I suggested, pulling out a package of hotdogs from my small insulated bag. I impaled one on a stick I found lying around and gave the first one to Carlos, who took it gratefully and stuck it over the orange flames, watching it slowly turn brown. We ate our dinner of Gatorade and hotdogs in silence. We were too lost in thought to make conversation, not that there were many positive things to talk about when you were lost in the middle of the woods anyway.

When the sun went fully down, it was quite a considerable change in temperature. I could hear Carlos' teeth clatter with each shiver from where I was sitting across from him.

"It's really dark out here," Carlos commented with a violent shiver. He pulled his coat around himself tighter and inched closer to small campfire.

"You scared?" I asked, arching an eyebrow.

"N-no," Carlos said quickly. I knew he was lying.

"It's ok Carlos. I am too if it makes you feel any better," I told him. Carlos' head shot up curiously.

"You are?"

"Yeah. It's creepy out here, dude."

"I have this bad feeling in my tummy, James. That something awful is going to happen," Carlos blurted. His distressed expression was illuminated by the fire light. I frowned and scooted in close to Carlos so I could give him some physical comfort.

"It's going to be fine, Carlos. I promise," I said, rubbing Carlos' back through the thick material of his coat.

"Can we get in our sleeping bags? I'm cold James," Carlos told me. I nodded and set up our warm sleeping bags side by side. Carlos crawled into his and I zipped him up and made sure he was nice and snug before crawling into mine. I sighed at the protection from the harsh cold and laid my head on the hard ground.

"I won't be able to sleep tonight," Carlos said.

"You have to at least try," I told him. Carlos pouted and wriggled closer to me like a worm. I giggled.

"Come on buddy, you need your rest for tomorrow. We're safe here, I promise. Don't be worried."

Carlos didn't say anything, just rested his head on my shoulder. His soft spikes of black hair tickled my face, and I rested my chin on the top of his head.

"Good night Carlos," I murmured. The Latino mumbled something and nuzzled his tiny nose in my neck, already feeling sleepy. Now that he was cuddled against me, he was out like a light, feeling safe and protected. I sighed, knowing sleep would not come that easily to me tonight.

**A/N Let me know what you think in one of those lovely things called a review! :D Thanks for reading!**


	2. First Night's Dangers

**A/N Thanks SO much for your reviews guys! I was super busy this week but I promise to reply to all of you asap because it means soooo much to me! I hope you are all likin' this so far!**

Sleep seemed like a distant thing to me. I envied Carlos, who was peaceful and dead to the world, held snug in my arms without a care. I wished I could be temporarily innocent like that. But sleep evaded me for hours as my mind rushed with fear. It was all really starting to sink in. We were truly, no doubt about it, lost, with only each other to rely on. We were completely alone. My job was to protect Carlos. That much was for sure, but how? The best I could do was to keep him warm and calm. But what would I do when a few days passed, if the boys never found us? What would we eat, how would we survive the cold? How could I protect Carlos from the fierce elements, let alone keep myself alive?

I wondered what Kendall and Logan were doing right now. They were probably freaking out, most likely. The ranger station was miles away from where we had been, but I knew they probably walked all the way down there even in the dark to report us missing. I also knew that any search parties wouldn't be sent out until the morning, so like it or not, we were stuck here all night. I could only pray that this would be our first and only night lost in the wilderness.

Suddenly, I heard a loud snap in the woods around me. I tensed, my eyes darting around, looking for whatever made that noise while my grip on Carlos tightened. Several moments went by and the woods were silent again, so I slowly allowed my body to relax. I blamed the noise on my mind playing tricks on me, which was bound to happen considering I was paranoid and sleep deprived. But when another twig snapped, I gasped and sat up. Carlos slipped out of my grasp, but I still kept a protective hand on his chest. I could hear a rustle of leaves as whatever was hidden by the trees came closer to our tiny, makeshift camp. I whimpered and glanced to the fire, wondering what I should do. I couldn't remember if fire actually beckons wild animals, or kept them away. Would staying still and silent help, or would it be better to wake Carlitos and run?

When I heard a soft but menacing growl, I really started to freak out, especially since whatever was growling remained unseen. It was definitely not a sweet little deer this time.

"Carlos, Carlos please wake up," I said, shaking his shoulder. My voice was quiet but high pitched and my eyes stayed focused on the trees, expecting something horrifying to jump out at any moment.

"Mmm?" Carlos moaned, sitting up and rubbing his sleepy eyes.

"Carlos, there's a monster," I said. My heart pounded in my chest and it was so quiet out here I bet Carlos could hear the rapid thumps.

"Wh-what?" Carlos asked, alarmed. I could tell that I freaked him out.

There was another growl, this time louder, and we both jumped up to our feet in unison, grabbing onto each other's shoulders.

"Ssh," I said, knowing Carlos was gearing to scream at any moment. The Latino muffled the sound best he could. I didn't blame him, I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs too, whatever good that would do.

"Where is it, James?" Carlos whispered.

"I don't know," I said. I could hear another growl, followed by a different one, and I realized with a disgusting sinking feeling in my stomach that there was more than one of whatever was stalking us.

"Oh God, James," Carlos whimpered, holding onto my shaking arm tightly. The "monster" finally made its appearance known. A large, black and gray wolf stepped out of the shadows, baring its teeth menacingly, and two more wolves of the same color and stature did the same exact thing.

The wolf in the middle growled again and snapped his teeth viciously. I felt Carlos tugging on my arm, but I was paralyzed by fear.

"James, we have to run," Carlos said desperately. Finally, my body synched up with my brain and we both turned and ran as fast as our legs could carry us. Carlos was struggling to keep up since his legs were so much shorter than mine, and at one point I ended up practically dragging him behind me.

But we were not running fast enough. I felt something tugging against my hold on Carlos, and he let out a blood curdling scream as he was pulled right out of my grip.

"Carlos!" I yelled, stumbling over my own feet to stop running at such a fast momentum. I turned around to see Carlos on the ground with the three large wolves on top of him, attacking him like he was a little ragdoll.

"Carlos, no!" I shouted, horrified. I thought fast and reached into my pocket, pulling out the knife I kept in there. I flipped the switchblade open and ran towards the wolves. Right when one was about to snap its jaws around Carlos' neck, I jumped on his furry, muscular back and, in a swift, strong motion, I ran the jagged blade of my knife across the wolf's neck, severing his jugular. Blood immediately started pouring from his neck and he was dead in an instant. I tossed his limp body aside and started helping Carlos with the other two wolves. His little body was putting up quite the fight, throwing kicks and punches left and right. His small, but surprisingly strong, fist collided with one of the wolf's eyes, and it staggered back with a whimper of pain.

"Get off of my brother," I cried, stabbing my knife in the hind leg of the wolf that was still attacking Carlos, puncturing his muscle. I than punched him in the snout, sending that wolf down for the count.

"James, run," Carlos pleaded, sounding exhausted but terrified. He was gripping his obviously hurt shoulder as tears streaked down his dirty face, and my eyes met with what he was looking at. The wolf Carlos had punched was staring at me, as if he knew I had killed his brother and seriously injured the other. He had a killer gleam in his yellow eyes and looked ready to attack at any second.

"James! Run!" Carlos repeated, only this time he was screaming. It was a demand. As much as I didn't want to leave Carlos, especially when I didn't even know what kind of condition he was in, I obeyed his command and took off with the angry wolf right behind me. The only good thing was that I had distracted the wolf's attention away from Carlos, but it was only a matter of seconds before the canine would bring me down with him. I somehow evaded him, but not for long. The wolf pounced on me, his claws digging into my back. I landed on my stomach, and the blow knocked some of the breath out of me, but I was able to flip onto my back, which was a necessary feat in keeping the wolf's jaw away from my neck.

I just let my legs and arms flail, punching and kicking the wolf just as Carlos had done, anything to keep his massive jaws from clamping around my jugular. But my strength was quickly fading. The wolf was pure muscle and not letting up anytime soon, as he was pretty much uninjured. I couldn't hold him off for much longer.

"Carlos," I cried, struggling to fight the wolf. I caught a glimpse of something near me from the corner of my eye, a medium sized rock. It was a risky move, but I reached behind me and grabbed it. I raised it up and, with all my strength, brought the rock down on the wolf's head. It whimpered and fell to the ground, temporarily dazed.

"Carlitos, where are you buddy?" I cried as I got to my feet. My knees were shaking but my best friend was the only thing on my mind.

Carlos didn't answer me though. I took a step forward to go find him, but the wolf that had attacked me was tough. He growled at me loudly and stood up a bit dizzily. I backed away slowly, wondering how in the world I would be able to survive once more. I was weak and out of weapons.

"Just leave me alone," I pleaded, as if the creature would actually take pity on me and go away. I was his dinner, and he would stop at nothing to kill me. I continued to back up. Unbeknownst to me, though, was that the wolf had chased me all the way to a cliff side. I didn't realize until the last minute that I was running out of solid ground, when a gut instinct told me to stop moving. I looked down and gulped, feeling dizzy. I was right on the edge of a large, rocky cliff. I could see in the moonlight the water rushing around the sharp rocks a good one hundred feet below. I tore my eyes away and look forward at the wolf, who seemed to know I was trapped and was just waiting to pounce on me. There was nowhere for me to go. Certain death waited behind me and in front of me.

Several things happened in the following couple of seconds. The wolf lunged for me in an attack that was sure to have toppled me over the cliff, killing us both. But right as it jumped towards me, a scream that resembled a battle cry could be heard and something small and fast surprised the wolf by tackling him from the side, bringing the angry beast down before it could kill me. I had just enough time to realize it was Carlos who somehow came to my rescue, but it was too late. I had staggered back instinctively and, in a sickening motion, my feet slipped from under me. My stomach rushed to my throat as I felt myself falling. I screamed and flailed my arms, searching desperately for something to hold onto. I was blinded by panic, but my fingers found something solid to grab onto and I held on for dear life, screaming until my throat was raw for help. I struggled to climb back up but I couldn't without assistance. My fingers were slipping. The rocks and rushing water were waiting for me below.

"Carlos, please help me!" I begged. Despite my own panic, I was afraid for him too. If he didn't come to my rescue it would mean the wolf had defeated him. And I couldn't live with that. I might as well just let go of the small ledge I had grasped and fall to imminent death because I wouldn't be able to face life knowing I had pretty much let my little brother die.

I felt like passing out with relief when Carlos' worn, bloodied face came into view. He collapsed onto his belly and reached his arms down, his eyes filled with terror at my predicament.

"Oh my God, James! Hold onto me bro!" Carlos cried. But I found myself unable to move my arms. I was too scared, paralyzed by fear. I made the mistake of looking down again and burst into sobs, pleading for Carlos to help me, even though I refused to hold onto him. My legs felt heavy and my arms were shaking with my weight. Carlos could see my fingers slipping and was getting desperate.

"James, I can't reach you! You need to help me out!" Carlos yelled. "Snap out of it dude! I won't let you fall!"

"I-I can't," I said. I was too terrified to let go of the one thing that was keeping me alive.

"Yes you can, James. You have to!" Carlos said forcefully. "Trust me, Jamie. I promise."

With a whimper, I mustered up enough courage to trust Carlos with my life and let go with one hand. I closed my eyes and reached my hand up with all the power I had left in me. I was sure I was going to die at that moment, but cold, strong fingers closed around my wrist and pulled me.

"There we go, just one more hand!" Carlos said. I chanced opening my eyes for a second to see Carlos' other hand reaching down for mine. I wondered if Carlos really could pull me up, and I had a horrible vision of him slipping and both of us tumbling down the cliff face together. But Carlos' gentle words of encouragement kept me from panicking further.

"You can do this, James. I have you. Nothing is going to happen to you. Just take my hand, buddy," Carlos said. I knew I could trust my brother with my life, so I finally let go of the ledge and grabbed onto Carlos' hand. The younger boy tugged with all of his might and I helped him by trying to climb up the cliff side with my legs.

"You made it, James," Carlos said breathlessly, wrapping his arms around my back and pulling me up with one last heave. I crawled desperately onto the solid ground. Carlos let out a pained cry he had been holding on once I was safe and fell to his side, clutching his shoulder with one hand, while his free arm was wrapped protectively around me, pulling me into his chest. I sobbed into his shirt for a moment, wondering how in the world I had survived that.

"It's ok, it's ok," Carlos chanted, stroking my hair. I wanted to regain my composure to make sure Carlos was ok, but I was momentarily taken over by hysterics. Carlos seemed to understand this and just cried with me until it finally sunk in that both of us were alive.

"Carlitos… You saved my life," I choked out when the sobs finally calmed down a bit.

"You saved mine first," Carlos said. He tried to smile, but I could tell that he was in a great deal of pain.

"Carlos, what's wrong?" I asked, running my hand over his sweaty, tear-streaked cheek.

"That one wolf, it got my shoulder James. It hurts."

"Let me see," I instructed, gently removing his hand from his wound. I gasped, feeling sick to my stomach. The fabric of his coat and thermal shirt had been ripped away, along with a chunk of flesh. This was really, really bad. Blood was gushing out of the bite, staining my fingers and the dirt below us. I feared that the uncovered wound could get infected and frostbitten way too easily.

"It's ok," I said, even though I was certain that nothing was okay. I tore off a piece of my shirt and wrapped it around the bite, tying the ends tightly to stop the bleeding. Carlos started to cry at the intense pressure on the bite.

"It needs to stop bleeding, bro. I'm so sorry, Carlitos. Please don't cry," I said, trying to hush the pain-stricken boy. Instead, he just cried harder. He sounded like a little boy again. It broke my heart. I was in protective big brother mode again and forgot about my own misery to comfort him.

"Come here, 'Los. Cuddle me," I said, gathering the shaking boy in my arms. We were both too exhausted and needed to sleep, but with the cold temperatures and the possibility of shock setting in through the night, we would need each other's body heat to fight off hypothermia.

"It hurts James," Carlos sobbed, his tears soaking the front of my coat. "And-and I thought… James I thought you died! I saw you go over the cliff and I thought you were dead. I was so scared…"

"Oh, no ssh, ssh," I said, running my fingers through Carlos' short, soft hair as he continued to babble and sob. "I'm ok, buddy. I'm here. It's alright. I'm not going to leave you here. Ssh…"

Carlos continued to cry as I clutched him in my arms, until we both fell asleep in a pile of tangled, bloodied limbs.

**A/N Please review ^_^ I love you all for reading this! Xoxoxo! Ps, even though I researched pictures of Northern Minnesota, I used the beautiful Witchita mountains and woods which are filled with crazy cliffs for inspiration for this story.**

**Thanks for reading!**


	3. Second Day's Hunger

**A/N Hey guys! Did everyone survive Big Time Monday? I barely did. Lol. Thanks to everyone who is reviewing and reading this story, it means a lot to me! I hope you're lovin' it so far because it's one of the funnest stories I am writing right now. Love ya'll1**

I was sleeping deeply, but a pain in my back and something shaking in my arms woke me up slowly. I moaned and tried to get comfy on whatever hard surface I had been sleeping on. Sunlight blared through my eyelids harshly. I reluctantly blinked them open, trying to get used to the bright glare.

"Owww," I groaned. Sharp pains shot through my back and when I rolled onto my side to relieve the pressure, I realized it was Carlos who was shaking violently in my arms. His face was pale and as soon as those dark, chocolate brown eyes opened and blinked warily I could see the agony reflected in them. Memories of last night came flooding in as I sat up and looked around. Now that it was daytime, I could see the beauty of the cliffs that stretched for miles. It was hard to believe that they were the same cliffs that nearly took my life last night. In the darkness, this place had seemed like a nightmare, but in the sunlight you could see it was a beautiful place of mother-nature.

Several yards away laid the body of the wolf that had nearly mauled me last night. Blood was pooled around its head and mangled body. I wanted to vomit at the sight, and the horrible memories of what happened last night sent chills down my spine. I turned to Carlos, who was rubbing his eyes sleepily.

"Dang, Carlos, what did you do to that thing?" I asked, impressed.

"I beat him up," Carlos said in a "duh" voice. "He was about to kill you. I wasn't going to let that happen."

I couldn't resist the urge to gather Carlos in my arms tighter and hug him to my chest thankfully for what he had done. He saved my life. Without him I would be dead right now. "Thank you, 'Litos," I said sincerely. Carlos just shrugged like it was nothing.

"Are you alright, Carlos? How's your arm? You're shaking like crazy," I said pulling away from the tight embrace and checking his shoulder before assessing the more superficial injuries he had attained from the attacks. The bite wound had stopped bleeding profusely. I could tell he had lost quite a bit of blood. The sleeve of his coat was soaked in it, and he was extremely pale and weak looking. He would need food, water and warmth soon.

"It stings pretty bad, and I'm cold," he admitted.

"Well the sun will help warm us up soon. You're just in shock, but we're safe now," I said, running my fingers over his forehead and cheeks, which were scraped up. I wondered if any part of Carlos' body wasn't marred from last night's attack. "Does anything else hurt?"

"No, not really. I'm just sore," Carlos said. "Are you ok?"

"My back hurts," I said. "But it's no big deal."

"Lemme see."

"No, Carlos it's fine-"

"James let me look," Carlos said, not taking no for an answer. I sighed and gingerly took off my coat for a moment. Carlos crawled behind me and lifted up my green thermal shirt. He hissed with sympathy and I felt his cold fingertips ghost over my injuries.

"Your back is pretty scratched up, dude. Did they bite you at all?"

"No, I don't think so," I said truthfully. Carlos lowered my shirt and helped me put my coat back on. "They just got me with their claws."

"Same here," Carlos said, lifting up the front of his shirt and coat to reveal several red, angry looking scratches on his belly. Dried blood was stuck to his shirt and caked around the small wounds. "It could be worse though. We got out of being attacked by three hungry wolves with just scratches, bruises, and one bite. We should be dead right now."

"I know," I said, rubbing my forehead. I honestly did not know how we were alive right now. Some kind of higher power had to have been looking out for us.

"Jamie?"

"Hmm?" I asked tiredly.

"Will help come for us today?"

"I-I have no idea, buddy. I'm sure it will," I said, offering him a small smile. "Let's eat something and get something to drink, ok? You don't look so good."

Carlos nodded and we both stood up before something dawned on us at the same time.

We had left all our supplies behind when we ran from the wolves, whatever direction that had been. All of our stuff, everything we needed to survive out here, was lost somewhere in the middle of the woods. It could be anywhere. Neither of us had any idea where we were or how far we had run.

I turned to Carlos, who was pale white, panic etched on his face. I opened my mouth to speak, but he took off in a run towards the vast amount of trees.

"Carlitos, no!" I said, reaching out for his arm, which slipped out of my grasp. I took a heavy breath to fill my lungs and ran after Carlos. He was too injured and weak to run very fast, so I easily caught up to him and grabbed him by the waist before he got both of us any more lost than we already were.

"Carlos, stop, your only taking us further out of the way!" I cried. Carlos shook his head, his dark eyes filling up quickly with tears.

"No, I gotta find our stuff, James! We-we'll freeze to death and starve to death without it!" Carlos cried. I tried to ignore the fact that he was probably right and focused on consoling him. He struggled to escape my arms but I held him firmly in place and pressed him against my chest, resting my cheek on the top of his head and stroking his hair gently. Finally, his tiny body quit struggling and relaxed against me, letting his tears flow freely, which only made me tear up.

"Listen, it's ok, Carlos," I said. My voice cracked and I sniffled a bit. I had to stay strong for Carlitos.

"We'll die out here, Jamie. What if we die? They'll never find us and we'll be out here forever!"

"Ssh, don't think like that Carlos," I soothed. My hands were trembling with fear as I continued to stroke his soft hair. "Neither of us is dying out here, I promise you Carlos. I'm going to protect you. I'll keep you warm, and I'll find us food, whatever it takes. Nothing is going to hurt you out here. And help will come for us. They'll find us, ok buddy? And you know Kendall and Logan; they will never give up on us. We just have to be brave and strong 'til they come."

"I can't," Carlos said. His tiny body gave a violent shudder and I held him even tighter.

"Then I'll be strong and brave for you, Carlos. You don't have to worry, baby bro." I squeezed my eyes shut to block the flow of tears that threatened to escape and took in a shaky breath. I had to keep telling myself that this was real, we were in a life or death situation and nobody was around to take care of us. Carlos was younger and smaller than me, and more innocent. I was in charge, I was responsible for both of our lives, and that thought terrified me as much as these woods did.

"Carlos, I have an idea," I said, steadying the emotional turmoil that was going on inside of me for both of our sakes. I gently pulled the crying boy away from me so I could look in those dark, scared eyes of his. He wiped his wet cheeks and looked up at me with full dependency.

"I don't have a clue where our stuff is, and I don't want to keep going deeper into the woods. We are completely hidden by those giant pine trees in there. I want us to stay close to the cliff and follow the water. The water has got to lead us somewhere, right? We're lucky we found these cliffs. We can be seen clearly and if we can somehow get to the water, we'll have plenty to eat and drink, right?"

Carlos nodded, his eyes brightening a bit. At least we had a plan.

"But what if we get cold, James?"

I smiled and reached into the side pocket of my navy blue cargo pants, pulling out a silver zippo lighter. "Well then we'll light a fire."

Carlos sighed with relief that I had kept our lighter in my pocket and not our bags.

"Come on, let's go try to get to that water," I said. My throat was dry with thirst and I wanted to wash Carlos' wound with clean water since we didn't have our first aid kit anymore.

After a quick "bathroom break" we were both headed along the cliff side, praying it would lead us to much needed clean water. We kept our ears open for the sounds of helicopters or search crews calling our names, but everything around us was quiet.

Carlos walked without complaint like a little trooper, even though I could tell just by looking at him he was in pain. His pink lips formed a tight, thin line and, despite the cold temperatures, beads of sweat dotted his forehead. Once in a while he would rub his shoulder and cringe, but when he would catch me staring at him worriedly, he would just give me a small smile and stare up ahead again, voiding his face of any emotion, as if he could hide how scared and hurt he was from me. I saw straight through it.

Every couple of hours, we would take a break for a few minutes to rest. During our midafternoon break, Carlos' head drooped to my shoulder and his weary eyes fluttered shut. I allowed to him sleep for a bit and watched the water rushing below us. The water was flowing faster the further we got. I wished we could somehow climb down there safely and just drink from the stream all afternoon. I was getting really thirsty now, not to mention hungry. My stomach growled unhappily and I rubbed it absentmindedly to soothe it. I wondered if catching fish to eat was really as hard as it was in the movies. Knowing my luck, it would probably be even harder. The only one of us who ever had caught a fish in boy scouts was Kendall but that was only because he had a combined strength and patience that neither of us possessed. I chuckled as I remembered Carlos, knee high in water with his khaki pants rolled up to his thighs and a big wooden spear clutched in his two small hands back in fifth grade. He had been determined to beat Kendall at this badge, but he had given up quickly when the fish kept swimming quickly away from him. Finally he had just belly-flopped into the water and tried catching them with his hands, which didn't work out too well. Logan was too scared to get in the water because he was convinced leeches would suck him dry, and I had refused to get in the water because I didn't want to ruin the designer pants my mom had given me for my birthday. I shook my head fondly at these memories. That year in boy scouts was definitely not our most productive.

Suddenly, Carlos awoke with a start, breaking me from my memories. I looked down at him, concerned. He glanced around nervously, his bottom lip quivering. My first instinct was that he had had a nightmare.

"It's ok, Carlos. It was just a nightmare," I soothed. Carlos shook his head and zipped his Northface coat further. The zipper was touching his chin now and his cheeks were a rosy red from the nipping cold, which was a lot better than the ill, pale white color he had achieved earlier. At least his poor body wasn't in shock anymore.

"No, it wasn't a nightmare. I had a dream we were home, in bed," Carlos admitted sadly.

"I'm sorry," I said in sympathy. Carlos waved me off and got to his feet. I had a sinking feeling for a moment that he might be mad at me, but he offered me a hand to help me up off of the cold, leaf-covered ground and gave me a crooked smile similar to Logan's. I felt a little pang in my heart. I really missed Kendall and Logan. Not that I wanted them to be going through all this with me and Carlos. It was bad enough Carlos had to endure the hunger, fear, and cold temperatures. I just wished we were all in the apartment playing video games and eating junk food again. I would do anything to get Carlos back in his warm bed again.

"You're so quiet," Carlos observed as we walked on.

"So are you," I said, feeling the corners of my mouth turn up in a smile.

"Yeah," Carlos said, staring at his boots that crunched on dead leaves and twigs with each step. A bone chilling gust of wind whipped at us, stinging our eyes. We turned our backs to the wind and cringed. Carlos even let out a tiny giggle at the crazy winds.

"It feels like a tornado," he said with a shiver.

"I swear it just keeps getting colder as the day goes on," I said. The wind finally let up and we turned back around to continue walking.

"Usually you can't shut up about cuda man spray or upcoming modeling projects," Carlos said, continuing the subject where we left off. "You ok?"

"I'm fine," I said. "That stuff just isn't important right now. What about you? Usually you can't shut up about how to train monkeys or what world record to break next."

"That stuff isn't important right now," Carlos said, copying my words. I chuckled.

"Really though James, what are you thinking about?" Carlos asked me. I sighed and glanced at my friend, who had slowed down his steps a bit and had his gaze fixed on me rather than his boots. His curiosity was still the same, even when he was so hungry and exhausted.

"I don't really want to talk about it right now," I said. I wasn't interested in sharing the guilt ridden thoughts that kept circling around my mind all day.

"Ok," Carlos said simply. I smiled gratefully. He patted my back and we walked in silence for a few more hours. It was late afternoon and nearing dark, but we still were on the cliffs, and precious water was far below us. I realized we weren't going to have anything to eat or drink tonight.

"Carlos we need to set up camp buddy," I said.

"But I'm hungry and thirsty," Carlos said, holding his stomach. His voice sounded harsh and dry with dehydration. It was the first time that Carlos admitted hunger, and he sounded like a little kid. I wished there was some way to get him something to at least drink. An entire day of walking without food and water was taking its toll on us.

"I'm sorry, Carlos. But the sun is about to go down. We need to get some rest. We'll make it to the stream tomorrow, I promise."

Carlos looked at me like he was considering arguing with me for a moment, but he stayed silent.

"You can sit down and rest while I gather kindling for the fire," I said. But Carlos didn't sit down. He had a familiar, defiant glint in his eyes, similar to the one he got whenever Gustavo told him to do something, only it wasn't as playful.

"I think we should keep walking for a while," he said softly.

"There's no reason to," I said, gesturing to the cliffs and the trees. "We aren't going to find anything different and we only have about an hour before the sun goes down. I know you're hungry, I am too. But walking at night is dangerous."

"I'm not spending another night out here," Carlos said.

"Dude I know you're scared but we don't have a choice. We're stuck here whether you like it or not. Carlos- where are you going?" I asked. He just walked right past me as if I weren't even there. I sighed. I was too tired to deal with this right now.

"Carlos, come back here!" I said, going after my younger friend. Carlos ignored me. I took his uninjured arm but he yanked it away and started walking faster.

"I'm going home tonight! I'm not sleeping out here!" Carlos said.

"Are you nuts?" I asked rhetorically. "Look around! There's nowhere to go! Quit walking and we'll build camp."

Carlos suddenly whirled around, his little hands balled up into fists. I stepped back, surprised.

"What puts _you _in charge?" Carlos asked bitterly. He waited for an answer. I tucked my hair behind my ear and bit my lip. I wasn't exactly prepared to have Carlos turn on me like this.

"Carlos, you're hungry and cranky. Please just lie down and I'll make a fire and we can sleep it off, ok?" I said desperately. My stomach growled loudly and my patience grew thinner. Our low blood sugar was blurring our judgment.

"Cranky? Of course I'm cranky!" Carlos yelled. I flinched and crossed my arms. Why was Carlos suddenly being so mean? "You got us lost in the middle of the woods in Minnesota! Why would I be happy?"

My stomach growled even louder. "Um, excuse me but I recall you're the one who couldn't wait 'til camp to go pee and got us lost!" I yelled, covering up my hurt feelings with anger.

Carlos turned on his heel and marched away from me again. "Yes, I know, it's _my _fault! But I'm too hungry to waste any more time! It does no good to sleep when we could be doing something productive like, I don't know, finding food and water so we don't _die!"_

"Well then you shouldn't have fallen asleep this afternoon, we could have been looking for a way to get down to the stream while you were napping!" I yelled after him. I immediately felt bad for making him feel guilty for being tired but he just ignored me anyway. "Carlos, come on dude. Let's take a break. I'm tired, I hurt. We've been walking all day and frankly, you're acting kind of crazy. Your blood sugar is just way too low."

Carlos just stomped on, showing no signs of stopping. I followed him, hoping that he would eventually cool down or tire out, whichever came first. My stomach twisted with hunger and my legs ached terribly. I just wanted to sit down and eat something.

"Carlos… _Please," _I said, resting my hands on my knees and leaning over, panting for breath. "I can't walk any longer."

Carlos finally turned around, scowling at me. When he saw me so weak, his features softened and he inched closer to me. I sat down and put my face in my hands, willing myself not to cry. I felt so stupid for feeling the need to cry so much, but I figured being lost and starving in the middle of the woods was a good excuse to cry.

"James…" Carlos said. He kneeled next to me and I could feel his eyes on me, trying to figure out what to do. "Don't cry, please."

"I'm not crying," I said, even though my wavering voice gave me away. I sniffed loudly and scrubbed my tears away. My eyes felt puffy and raw. I probably looked ridiculous, but Carlos apparently didn't care how I looked because he wrapped his arms around me in a forgiving hug.

"I'm sorry, James. I don't want to be mad at you. I'm mad because I'm cold and I am hungry and I don't feel well. Please, I am sorry Jamie. I shouldn't have yelled at you."

"Carlos I'm not mad at you," I said, hanging onto his arms that were clutched around my neck. "It's ok. I understand. First thing tomorrow, I'll find us food, ok? But it's too dangerous to walk at night and we need our rest. Can we get through one more night?"

"We have to, don't we?" Carlos asked, releasing his hold around my neck to wipe away the fat tears beneath his eyelashes.

I started to nod when I caught a flash of red nestled in some bushes out of the corner of my eyes. "Or maybe we _can_ eat tonight," I said.

"What do you mean?" Carlos asked, following my gaze, which was fixed on a bush covered in bright little red berries.

We looked at each other before stumbling to our feet, practically tripping over our shoes. We ran desperately to the bush and skidded on our knees. Our scraped up hands reached for the berries and took them off the branches greedily. I shoved a handful into my mouth and moaned as the cold, bitter-sweet juice exploded over my tastebuds. Carlos was giggling as we stuffed our mouths full of the berries. I chuckled as I watched my little brother get so delighted over our makeshift meal.

"Mmm, my tummy is so full," Carlos said several handfuls later. He patted his satisfied stomach and curled up next to me. I gathered up some kindling for a fire and lit it with my lighter. We sat close to the flames, shoulder to shoulder.

"The stars are really pretty," I said, pointing at the velvet black sky above us, which twinkled with silvery bright stars. Carlos let out a content sigh and leaned on my chest to watch the night sky. It wasn't long before his breaths became short and heavy, indicating he was fast asleep. I gently laid him on the ground and scooted in close to him, wrapping my arm and leg around him protectively.

"Good night Carlitos," I whispered before falling asleep.

**A/N Awe, cute bromance moments. Of course that means something bad is going to happen very soon ;) Please review!**


	4. Second Night's illness

**A/N Hey guys! Thanks so much to everyone who's read and reviewed, including the anonymous reviews! I have been getting a lot of questions about a Kendall and Logan POV and I actually haven't written any chapters like that, because I feel like it will take away the mystery of James and Carlos' situation if I included what Kendall and Logan are doing. It would ruin the ending. So, for now, the story is only going to focus on James and Carlos trying to survive together. Who knows what will happen later in the story ;)**

I was having a really strange dream. I was a character in the video game the boys and I play all the time at home, called Zombie Massacre City. Only it was really vivid and disgusting, even more so than the game. Zombies were everywhere, and I was lost in the woods with Carlos. I couldn't see Carlos, but I could hear him crying, which was breaking my heart. I was unable to find my helpless friend and I became distracted as I searched desperately for him. A zombie took advantage of this and pulled me down. I tried to fight him off, but he started eating my stomach. More and more zombies came, their scary grimy faces blurring my vision. I felt like it was being ripped apart by the gnashing, dirty yellow teeth of the hoard of undead creatures. I cried out for Carlos, but he just continued to sob out of my sight. The pain was intense and I couldn't hold back my screams of agony any longer.

"Aahh!" I wailed, forcing my eyes open. I was expecting zombies to be crowded around me, but they were finally gone, replaced by endless rows of trees. I was relieved for a second, but it that relief didn't last long. My terrible stomachache and the sounds of Carlos crying were really happening outside of my dream, even though the zombies were gone. It hurt terribly. I could hardly take in a breath without sharp pain moving through my abdomen. I clutched onto Carlos tightly as I was hit by waves of nausea. Carlos suddenly moaned and whimpered between sobs. I pushed my own stomachache to the back of my mind to check on my younger friend, who didn't look too good.

"Carlitos?" I asked, peering down at the shivering bundle under me. Carlos was sweaty and pale and crying in his sleep. I pulled my glove down a bit so I could rest my palm to his forehead and gasped at the heat I found there. He was running a temperature. "Wake up Carlos," I said as I un-wrapped my arms from him and sat up straight. Pain ripped through my belly at the movement and I doubled over, gasping for breath.

"Ow, Carlos it hurts!" I screamed, falling to my side. I couldn't ignore my illness any longer. I curled my knees to my chest and moaned. My stomach was twisting and churning. It hurt so much…

"J-Jamie?" A weak voice asked. I opened my eyes to see Carlos staring at me with glassy, tear-filled eyes.

"Carlos, does your tummy hurt?" I asked through gritted teeth, hoping that this pain wasn't the reason why he was crying. To my dismay, he nodded.

"I don't feel good, James. What's happening to me?"

"We're sick," I said. "My stomach hurts, too."

"I want my mommy, James," Carlos admitted, wrapping his arms around his tummy. I gathered him in my arms and kissed his hair, trying to comfort him like his mom would if he was sick at home. There was pure misery reflected in his sweet eyes and I knew he was in just as much agony as I was.

"I know, Carlos. Just close your eyes and try to sleep. You'll be alright…" I groaned at a sudden wave of nausea and clutched Carlos to my chest. "It was the berries… The berries are making us sick…"

Carlos continued to cry. Once in a while he would moan for his mother. I couldn't take care of him, though. I could barely move. I wanted my mommy, too. I never felt so sick in my life and all I wanted was mommy to hug me and make it go away. I wanted to go home.

A few agonizing, long moments later, I started to gag and my tummy began to churn. I knew my body was rejecting the berries. It took all my strength to crawl away from Carlos so I could vomit the red fruit.

After I threw up, my nausea was replaced by a dull, painful ache deep in my stomach. I knew more vomit would come, and I felt the need to collapse and fall asleep so I could be oblivious to the pain, but I had to get back to Carlos. He was sobbing quietly and squirming at the pain in his belly. I didn't want him to be alone while he was so sick.

"James, are you ok?" Carlos asked me. He cringed when simply talking seemed to make his tummy hurt even worse.

"Ssh, I'm ok buddy," I said as I crawled back over to his small, shivering body and removed my glove. I stuck my hand up his coat and layers of clothing and placed a warm hand on his belly, rubbing gently. His sobs turned to whimpers and he closed his eyes, concentrating on the comforting rhythm of my hand.

"James," Carlos said softly, his body starting to heave. He looked up at me with pain-stricken, feverish eyes. I knew what was happening when his stomach started to contract beneath my hand. I rolled him onto his stomach and rubbed his back. He was hardly strong enough to even get on his knees, so I tried to hold him up best as I could. I shut my eyes and tried to block away the sounds of my little brothers retching as he violently threw up the poison berries.

"It's ok," I whispered when Carlos began to cry.

"It hurts, Jamie…"

"I know, baby bro. Come here," I said sympathetically. I scooted us away from the mess and gathered him in my arms, where we both fell into feverish, restless sleeps.

I woke up later then I wanted to that morning after sleeping off my illness. My stomachache was gone and so was my fever, but I felt weak and there was a faint nauseous feeling left over in the pit of my tummy. However, it was nothing compared to what I had gone through last night.

Carlos was sleeping, his cheek smooshed against my chest. I ran my hand through his hair and spoke soft words of comfort in his ear to wake him up.

"J-Jamie? Is it over?" Carlos asked, wiping his eyes groggily.

"Yeah buddy, it's over," I said. I pressed my hand to his temple and found it to still be a bit warm. "You still have a temperature, though," I said, concerned. "Are you feeling ok?"

Carlos nodded. "My stomach doesn't hurt anymore, but I'm a bit cold," he said, rubbing his bare hands together briskly to warm them.

"Here buddy, put these on," I said, handing Carlos my gloves.

"Are you sure? I don't want to take your gloves."

"You need them more than I do," I said, studying his brown eyes. They looked a bit glassy and his face was pale except a faint blush along his cheekbones. It was important to keep him as warm as possible. "Are you sure you feel alright? You're fever should have broken by now, mine did."

"I'm alright," Carlos assured me. His voice was gravelly and weak from vomiting, but he didn't look half as bad as he had last night. I figured his body was just taking a little bit more time recovering from his illness then mine had. To my surprise, he stood up on wobbly legs and offered me a hand.

"Don't you want to lie down for a bit?" I asked him. I figured we would both need a little bit more time to rest before starting the day. I kind of didn't want to move. I was hungry, thirsty, and weak. But Carlos shook his head.

"We need to get moving, James. I'll be fine. I swear I don't feel sick anymore."

"Ok, but if you start to feel sick again let me know," I said, taking his hand and getting to my feet. I swayed dizzily for a moment and Carlos grabbed my arm to steady me.

"You alright?" he asked.

"Don't worry about me," I said, waving his concern off. I didn't want him to fret over my health. I would be fine and he couldn't spend the small energy he had left worrying about me.

We walked on, but it was slower today then yesterday. Our stomachs were empty and ravaged, and even after getting so sick, they still grumbled with hunger. Our feet were blistered and the air seemed to be getting colder. Carlos looked paler with every passing hour. His lips became white and chapped and his nose dripped from the cold. Honestly he looked ready to drop at any moment.

"Carlos, maybe we should rest," I said around the noon hour.

"Why? Do you not feel good?" Carlos asked me.

"I told you, I'm fine. It's you I'm worried about. I'm walking fairly slowly and you can hardly keep up."

"I'm just hungry. I'll be perfectly fine once I can eat and drink some water," Carlos said. He walked on ahead of me, but after a few steps he wavered dizzily and fell to his knees.

"Carlos!" I cried, lurching forward to catch my sick friend. He leaned into my arms and shut his eyes, breathing heavily. I pressed my lips to his forehead, finding the skin to be warm with a fever. "Come on buddy, get up…" I stuck my hands beneath his arms and tried to lift, but he was a dead weight.

"Carlos? Carlitos, please!" I said in a scared voice, but he wouldn't wake up.

**A/N Well Carlos is just getting worse and worse, huh? Things aren't looking good for him. Reviews are lovely so I know this chapter wasn't too terrible. Love you guys.**


	5. Third Day's Weakness

**A/N Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed last chapter, I love you guys! Hope you like this chappie!**

Panic raced through my veins when Carlos wouldn't wake up. He was passed out cold in my arms. I couldn't tell if he was alright or not. He wasn't exactly burning up with a fever, but he was so pale, like all the life was slowly being sucked out of him.

"It's ok, Carlos. I'll get you safe. We'll eat soon and everything will be alright," I said, trying to keep a calm mind. I lifted Carlos in my arms and struggled to get him on my back. My muscles quivered with the effort and my knees threatened to buckle, but I somehow managed to keep upright and get him on my back with his legs and arms wrapped securely around my waist and neck. Normally Carlos was easy to carry, but I was feeling the effects of starvation and dehydration. Each step I took was harder than the last, but I had to get him to food and water. We both needed our strength built back up, or there was no way either of us would make it out alive.

Thankfully, I was walking down a slight incline, which made it easier to carry the sleeping boy on my back. But late afternoon was coming quickly and I still had not made it to the body of water. It was so frustrating to be able to see the water that would save us, yet be so far away. I felt like we would never make it to our only lifeline. Finally, I made the dangerous decision to make it to the stream by tonight, no matter what. We could not last any longer. It had been two days since we last drank anything, and vomiting the other night only made it much, much worse.

I carefully walked to the edge of the cliff and peered down nervously. My stomach flipped and vertigo overcame me. I had to step back in fear of falling with Carlos on my back. I noticed that since we were walking down an incline, we were closer to the stream then before and the terrain had changed a bit. The cliff was not such a steep drop any more, but instead was slanted ever so slightly with rocks large enough to climb down. If I was careful enough, I could make it down the cliffs to the water.

"God, protect Carlos and I please, I put my life in your hands," I whispered to the heavens, hoping that this prayer would be answered. I took a deep breath and started my descent down the rocky footholds. To say I was scared was an understatement, but I put my trust in God and in myself, that we would make it down safely. I had to stay confident, because panicking would only end in tragedy.

A couple of times my foot would slip and I would cry out, my heart beating against my chest so hard I was afraid it would bruise. But I always caught my grip and slowly but surely, I made it all the way down.

After the long, physically exhausting climb, I collapsed on solid ground, crying almost hysterically. I was so thankful and scared and relieved that I had made it all the way down. My legs shook with exhaustion and my hands were bloody, but Carlos and I were safe and the water was mere feet away from me. I laid Carlos on the ground and crawled to the stream with my last bit of strength and dipped my hands in. The water was so cold I immediately started to shiver, but it felt so good. I didn't even bother to use my hands as a cup, I just dipped my face right in and lapped up the cold, clear water so fast that my stomach began to ache. When I had my fill, I cupped my hands and brought the freezing liquid to Carlos and splashed it on his face. He woke up with a start and sat up, confused.

"James, what…?"

"Carlos, it's water," I said, weakly but victoriously. "We're going to be ok, buddy."

"Oh my God," My young friend whispered in awe. He crawled to the edge of the stream and drank exactly as I had. When he finished, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and looked at me in amazement. "But how…?"

"I carried you down," I explained. "You passed out several hours ago. It was the only option I had. We needed this stream or else…"

Carlos nodded. He threw his arms around my neck and held me for a few minutes. I relaxed in his arms. My adrenaline was wearing off and my bones began to ache terribly, my eyelids threatening to shut.

"I'm so tired, Carlos…"

"Sleep, James," Carlos instructed me, placing my head in his lap. I curled up against my "pillow" and allowed my eyes to flutter closed. I was still so hungry, but strangely the water brought me enough satisfaction for now. After the climb, all I needed was sleep. I felt a sense of peace when Carlos ran his fingers through my hair as I had done for him last night, and his soft and angelic voice began singing a familiar lullaby in my ear.

"_Just close your eyes… The sun is going down, you'll be alright, no one can hurt you now… Come morning light, You and I'll be safe and sound…"_

The sun had barely risen when I awoke next. Carlos was settled in my arms in a deep sleep. The sky was a gorgeous orange and purple color. I held Carlos and watched the sunrise for a while, knowing that for these few moments, we were safe. He was warm and protected in my arms and even though it would change as the day went on, right now he was _safe _and that was all that mattered. I didn't want to get up but I knew I had to. I felt well rested after sleeping all night, even though my muscles were extremely sore. My stomach growled loudly, reminding me that I needed to find us food, and soon, too.

I gently removed my little brother from my arms and laid his small body down on the ground. I frowned when I saw the flush in his cheeks, as if he was running a fever. I put my hand on his forehead. He was still a bit warm, even though it had been a full day since our sickness. I worried he was beginning to come down with something. I prayed he didn't have the flu, but now that we had food and water, he could at least rest until help finally came.

I began to wonder when help would actually get here. We were on day three of being lost in the woods (it felt much longer than that though) and so far I hadn't even heard a chopper looking for us. Did anybody even notice us missing? How could they not have found us yet? Did Kendall and Logan take it upon themselves to look for us and become missing as well? If that was the case, then help would not come for some time now. Our families wouldn't even notice us missing until we failed to come home on the day we were expected to return from our trip, which wasn't for another two days.

As I searched the stream for a fish to cook for breakfast, I started to worry about my friends. I had no idea if they were ok or not, after all Carlos and I barely survived the past few days. And if they were ok, they were probably worried sick about us… I could picture Kendall trying to stay strong but Logan was surely a crying ball of panic in Kendall's arms, because that's how it always was when things went wrong. But Kendall wasn't superhuman, he cried too. In fact, sometimes he felt emotion stronger than any of us, he was just a pro at hiding it for our sakes. I missed them so, so much…

"_James! Jamie!" _ A voice suddenly screeched right as I was about to scoop up a fish in my patient and still hands. I jumped and looked around wildly, resulting in our breakfast swimming away quickly. The fish was all but forgotten about as I waded out of the shin-deep water. Cold air stung my bare legs and I pulled my pants legs back down as I ran to Carlos, who looked absolutely frightened. When Carlos saw me, he immediately burst into tears and held his arms out for me. I got to my knees and gathered him into my lap, rocking him gently.

"Ssh, Carlos, it's ok. I'm right here, buddy. What happened?"

"I-I couldn't see you when I woke up… I-I just got scared for a moment," Carlos said somewhat abashedly.

"Oh, Litos, no… I will never leave you, ok?"

Carlos nodded against my chest and held onto me tightly. "Do you promise, James?"

"I promise you, Carlos," I said, looking into those innocent, doe-like eyes. "I'm not gonna leave you. I'm always right here. You don't have to be scared."

Carlos trusted my words and hugged me one last time before pulling away. I ran a hand across his warm forehead.

"You need to get some more rest," I said. "I think you might be coming down with something. I'm going to be right over there to get us some food, ok?"

Carlos nodded and lay back down. Even though it was near freezing outside, I slipped off my coat and gave it to Carlos to use as a pillow, slipping it under his head.

"James, you'll freeze-"

"Ssh," I hushed him. "I can't fish with this bulky thing on. Rest up. I'll be back soon."

Carlos opened his mouth to protest again, but I gave him a stern look and pushed him down on the pillow. He rolled his eyes at my brotherly protection, watching me head back to the stream, where I spent the next hour trying to catch us something to eat. When I did catch my first fish, which was rather small and scrawny looking, I couldn't help but feel proud, especially when I heard Carlos, who had been watching me this whole time, begin to cheer. I ran out of the stream, holding onto the fish for dear life as I sprinted over to Carlos.

"You did it James!" Carlos cried, jumping to his feet so he could do a little joyful dance. He was prouder then I was. We high-fived as we laughed with excitement, and I started a fire and began to skin and cook the fish. Carlos became fidgety and impatient as he watched the fish slowly char black, but I knew the fish had to be cooked all the way. After picking the tiny bones from the meat, I cut the fish in half with my army knife and gave the biggest half to Carlos. Normally we would have been squeamish and disgusted, but we were too hungry to care and ate the fish in a somewhat animalistic way.

"We should walk some more," Carlos suggested a few minutes after we finished our meal. I was squishing the dirt between my bare toes and watching the stream rush by us, lost in thought when Carlos spoke up. "I feel stronger, James. Let's go while we still have sunlight and energy."

"But you don't feel well," I said. Carlos shook his head.

"I'm fine James, I swear. All I needed was some food."

"Ok, but I want to clean your bite wound first," I said. Carlos rose to his feet, ignoring me. He gave me back my coat and kicked my shoes and socks back to me.

"Maybe later, it's fine right now."

"We really should clean it, especially since I don't have a first-aid," I said while putting my shoes and warm socks back on my freezing toes.

"The water can only cause an infection," Carlos argued. "We have nothing to boil the water in. We should just keep it covered until help comes, let them take care of it."

I sighed. The wound needed to be cleaned and redressed but Carlos was right. The water was definitely not polluted, but it still was probably littered with bacteria. I honestly didn't really know what to do.

"Can you at least let me change the bandage?" I asked. Carlos shook his head and held his arm protectively. I could tell he did not want his wound to be touched right now.

"Carlos, is it really hurting you?"

"Just a little bit," Carlos admitted.

"Sit down," I instructed, pushing him back down on the dirt. I removed his coat, shirt, and thermal underclothes. Carlos hugged his arms around his naked torso and scowled at me, showing me how unhappy he was for making him do this.

"Sorry buddy," I said. I began to undress the bloody makeshift bandages. Carlos hissed in pain and whimpered, looking away.

"Oh Carlos…" I gasped. His wound was bloody, red, and angry looking. It was getting infected. "No wonder it hurts already. This must be why you're running a temperature too," I said, resting my knuckles around his wound. His skin was flaming hot. "You're fighting an infection, buddy."

"Wh-what does that mean?" Carlos asked. "Will it get better?"

"Yeah, of course it will," I said quickly. Apprehension filled my gut. We needed help, fast. Carlos would need antibiotics as soon as possible. He was only going to get worse.

I cleaned the wound by pouring cold water over the burning area of skin, watching the blood wash away. I then ripped off a new piece of cloth and tied it gingerly around his arm as a bandage.

"That's as good as it gets, 'Los. Feel better?"

Carlos nodded. "The cold water felt really good, but my arm is really starting to hurt."

"Well once we find help, we'll get you some antibiotics and disinfect it so it won't hurt anymore."

"Can I have some pain medicine, too? Even if it makes me loopy?" Carlos asked, the corner of his mouth upturning into a crooked grin. The last time Carlos took pain medication, he was so loopy he couldn't stop laughing for two hours straight. Ever since then, the boys and I had banned pain meds from Carlos. I smiled at the memory.

"Yeah, we'll get you some pain meds, too. I think we can make this an exception to the rule," I assured him. In the back of my mind, I was praying that we would even make it out of the woods to get to professional healthcare before it was too late. The thought made me feel sick to my stomach, but I pushed the scary possibilities out of my mind. I helped Carlos redress and, weary and frightened on the inside, we continued our walk along the stream.

**A/N Thanks so much for reading! Let me know what you think in a review, and I'll make you cookies! **


	6. Third Night's Storm

**A/N Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed! Love you guys!**

**Ok so I am literally having panic attacks because my BTR meet and greet is in 8 days and I'm hyperventilating. I have a mini panic attack every single day and I can't handle it. It just gets worse, every time it happens! Aggghhhhhhhhh! But their crafts are almost finished and I have my outfit (sparkly pink shirt, black lace cami, beaded wedges, and dark wash blue jeans) is all picked out. I AM READY. **

Carlos' health only grew worse as the day went on. By midafternoon, his steps became slower and more deliberate. A look of concentration shone in his feverish, dark eyes and beads of sweat lined his creased forehead despite the cold temperatures.

"James, can we rest?" He finally asked in a pleading voice, his chest rising and falling quickly as he breathed. Right when I was about to agree and ask if he was alright, a coughing fit overcame his tiny body. He doubled over and placed his hands on his knees for support as the coughs racked his sore chest. I rushed over to my friend and placed my hands on his back and chest to hold him up.

"You're sick," I said sadly, remorsefully. There was no doubt about it anymore. He was ill, fighting off an infection that would be impossible to recover from without antibiotics. Carlos looked up at me. I knew what he was going to say before he even opened his mouth to speak. He was about to assure me that none of this was my fault and that he would be ok, but I just shook my head and shushed him. Nothing about this was ok, and nothing would be ok. I was supposed to keep him safe and protected, but things were only getting worse, and there was nothing I could do about it. I felt so helpless. I was the big brother, yet there wasn't a thing I could to do help my sick baby brother.

"It's been three days. Help will come soon," Carlos said, rubbing my back to comfort me. This wasn't right, Carlos wasn't supposed to be the strong one, that was my job. But right now I could hardly keep it together. Tears stung at my eyes, threatening to spill over my wind-nipped cheeks. I was so close to losing it, but I struggled to keep it in for Carlos' sake.

"Please don't cry," Carlos said. "I'm ok. Let's just eat for a little bit and then we can walk again."

I nodded. The only way to save myself from losing my mind was to stay busy, so I made my coat into a pillow for Carlos again and began to fish for our dinner while he napped.

Carlos' health wasn't the only thing that had changed while we walked. The terrain had, too. The cliffs and trees had all disappeared. Now it was flat prairie land. The stream had transitioned into a rushing waterfall, which had spilled into a large lake that was as wide as my eyes could see. The scenery would have been beautiful if it wasn't such an unforgiving nightmare. I could tell the temperatures were colder here, because the lake seemed partly frozen. I had to break ice to catch fish. I didn't trust walking over it, though, because where some parts were more thoroughly frozen, others seemed very fragile.

After I caught a fish for dinner, I set it on a rock in the fire to cook up and looked over at Carlos. He seemed to be very cold and uncomfortable, curled on the ground with his arms crossed around his chest. Every once in a while his dark eyelashes would flutter and a moan would escape his pale lips, which were so chapped and dry that they were beginning to bleed. I ran my thumb gently over the broken skin and frowned, then felt his forehead with the back of my hand.

"James? What're you doing?" Carlos asked me, his eyelids parting halfway to look at me.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up. I was just checking on you," I said apologetically. "Go back to sleep."

"It's ok, I'm up," He said with a yawn, sitting up and scooting closer to the fire in hopes of warming his cold bones. I noticed him studying my face for a couple of seconds. "Why do you look sad?"

I tried my best to seem confused. "What do you mean? I'm not sad, Carlos."

"You were crying," he told me. He wiped a gloved finger over my cheek, smearing a tear underneath my eye that I didn't even know was there.

"Oh," I said. "I'm just… I wish there was something I could do for you to make you feel better. I can't even give you chapstick for your lips and-"

Carlos chuckled at me, amused. But his laugh was so much weaker than it used to be. He used to have such a hearty, strong laugh that would chime like bells. I found myself missing his real laugh. "James, I'm not a little boy. I think I'll live. We'll be home soon so it's ok."

I sighed. "You're staying a lot more positive then I am, Carlitos. I'm freaking out. I want to be home now. I don't even know where we are anymore, or if we're still in Minnesota. So far the stream has only brought us to a lake which is probably so huge it would take forever to get around it. We're so, utterly lost I can't even wrap my mind around it."

"Don't think about it then, James. You just have to keep up your faith. We'll get out of this, like we've gotten through everything else in life. As long as we're together. That's how we've defeated every obstacle and it's not going to fail us now."

I watched the fire dance in the winds as I listened to Carlos' wise words. He could be so smart sometimes. He always was the voice of reason whenever you least expect it. "I know. We have each other and that's all we need. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have ranted like that. I hope I didn't scare you."

"It's ok, bro," Carlos told sincerely, flashing me a small smile. "Is dinner ready yet? 'Cause I'm starving."

I smiled and began to prepare our dinner. "Here you go, Carlos. Bacon-wrapped steak, twice baked potatoes, and a huge chocolate sundae with extra whipped cream. "

Carlos stared at the half of fish I handed him and wrinkled his nose. "Maybe if I close my eyes and pretend it's all of that good stuff, it will actually taste like it."

"Worth a try," I said. We closed our eyes and brought the fish to our mouths in unison. Pretending it was Mrs. Knights delicious cooking did not change the taste at all, but we ate it quickly and savored every bite anyway.

After we ate, I figured we would walk some more, but the wind was picking up. Gusts whirled around us, making eerie whistling noises in the sky, and it was hard to even stand up without our weakened bodies nearly toppling over.

"Whoa, James, where did this wind come from?" Carlos asked, clutching onto my arm to keep his balance. I squinted against the heavy gusts and looked up at the sky. It was late afternoon, and usually around this time, the sun was still out. But the sky was quickly turning into a pale gray as dark clouds rolled ominously in front of the sunshine.

"I think a storm is coming," I said, right when a crack of thunder sounded above us, making Carlos and I jump out of our skin. I grabbed Carlos' wrist and squeezed gently. Even at home, he was scared of thunderstorms, and right now he looked petrified.

"What are we going to do, James? We have no shelter!"

I looked around at our surroundings as Carlos clung to my arm tightly. There really was nowhere to hide. The land around us was flat, save for some scattered trees and a giant lake. We were completely exposed to the elements.

"James, it's getting colder," Carlos told me with a shiver. I wrapped an arm around him and pulled him close to my chest as more thunder rumbled.

"Don't worry Carlos," I said, even though my heart was pounding. It was one thing after another out here. Every time I thought we might be safe, something would happen. The wolves, nearly plummeting to my death, Carlos' infection, lack of food and water, the berries, and now this… How could we survive a storm? We were barely making it through the harsh temperatures…

"Carlos, we need to collect as much kindling as we can find," I said, and my voice gained a courageous, confident tone. I wasn't about to let us die out here. "We'll build a big fire and huddle. All we can do is wait it out here."

Carlos nodded and reluctantly let go of me, scouring the ground for anything he could find for kindling. The sky above us became more ominous and darker with every passing moment and the thunder became louder. Once we collected as much kindling as possible, I had him start a big fire while I caught another fish just to be prepared. A few light snowflakes began to fall from the darkened sky. Even though it wasn't quite evening yet, it was as dark as night already.

"I caught us some breakfast for the morning just in case. I have no idea how big this storm is going to be," I said, placing the fish on the ground and sitting next to my small friend, who stood on his knees while tending the fire.

"Fire looks good and warm Carlos," I praised. Carlos peered up at me and gave me a slight nod as he tossed some more kindling in. I noticed he was favoring his shoulder with each movement, his face pale and eyes glassy and filled with pain.

"Is your shoulder ok?" I asked.

"As good as it gets I guess," Carlos said sadly. A gust of wind picked up and whistled threateningly around us.

"Well you can rest now, ok?"

"Ok," Carlos said gratefully, settling down on the ground with his knees pulled to his chest, where he rested his head and stared at the large fire. I brushed the fine, white snowflakes off the top of his short black hair and gave him a smile.

"We'll be ok, right James? Help is coming. Maybe they'll even be here before the storm hits."

"I'm sure they will be," I lied, putting Carlos' hood up and tying it snug around his chin. Then I fixed his scarf, making sure it covered up his little nose and red cheeks. I didn't have the heart to tell him the search would most likely be called off because of the storm.

"James, I can't breathe," he said, pulling the soft, warm fabric off of his mouth.

"You have a fever and you need to stay warm," I said, covering his face back up. Carlos rolled his eyes but didn't say anything else. We sat shoulder to shoulder in silence as the snow continued to fall. I allowed my mind to wander off for a few moments, wondering if we actually would make it through the night. I couldn't stand not knowing what might happen to us or how big the storm was going to be. Our fate was left in the hands of mother-nature now.

**A/N Yep things are getting really bad now. Reviews make me a happy piglet.**


	7. Third Night's Sacrifice

**A/N So it's 500,000,0000000000 degrees out lol so I decided ooh, maybe writing a story about freezing to death would help, so here you go, lol. I have so many issues lol.**

**Um this chapter is kinda sad, so… BE PREPARED FOR EMOTIONS. Idk about any of you, but I have to prepare myself for emotionals. Lol. That's not a word. Oh and thanks for everyone who is still reading this and for everyone who reviewed come here lemme squish you.**

Sharp, freezing wind was howling, loud thunder rumbled, and bright lightning flashed above us all nearly simultaneously as hoards of fluffy snowflakes swirled quickly around us. I could hardly see anything around me but white except for the orange glow of our fire, which threatened to snuff out because of the blizzard.

Carlos was scared. His body was pressed against mine and his face was hidden, buried in my coat. I had one arm snug around his shivering yet feverish body, while my free arm tossed kindling into the fire to keep it going. It would be the end of us if our fire went out. I had to keep the flames up. We were huddled as close as we could get to the flames, desperately seeking warmth from the intense storm.

My fingers were starting to go numb. I didn't regret giving my gloves to Carlos, he needed them more than I did, but as I struggled to tend the fire I noticed it was getting harder and harder to move my fingers. They felt like little blocks of ice. I wiggled them around often and tried to hide them in my sleeve and put them closer to the flames, but it wasn't helping much. I had to expose them to the elements constantly to keep our fire strong.

I had no idea how long this storm would last, and that frightened me. The snow was already a couple of inches thick. And I was cold. I shivered violently. It was starting to physically hurt. My teeth began to chatter and I raised my hood and covered my face with my scarf to protect my nose and cheeks. I thought Carlos had fallen asleep, but I could hear tiny whimpers under the sounds of the wild storm. I held him closer and kissed his hair.

"We'll get through this," I said into Carlos' cold, red ear. I arranged his hood so that his little ears were better protected.

"J-J-Jam-mes-s," Carlos whimpered in a shaky voice. He was shaking way too hard for my liking. It was scaring me half to death.

"Ssh," I soothed, rocking him. I blinked rapidly to try to see through the heavy snow. Carlos was covered in the fluffy, wet substance. I knew I had never, ever experienced cold like this before. It was so painful. I tried to think of anything else. I pretended I was back at home in California, soaking up the rays of the sun by the pool with my buddies. My warm skin was a golden brown and I wore sunglasses because it was one of those days when the sun was just too bright. All of the pretty girls at the Palmwoods were dressed in colorful, small bikinis, and Carlos was splashing around in the pool with a froggie-shaped floatie wrapped securely around his waist.

I tried to keep that mental image going as I tossed more kindling into the fire, but it didn't help much anymore. Everything we had gathered was soaking wet now, and we were nearly out. The fire was slowly dying.

"No, please no," I whispered as the fire flickered and died down considerably. I wanted to cry, but I felt too cold and weak to even do that. I had no choice but to watch the warm orange flames turn into embers. The loss of heat was drastic, and we were submerged in darkness.

"Carlos, lay down," I said through my incessant shivering. It was hard to speak, it was hard to even_ think_. I was feeling alarmingly sleepy.

Carlos did as he was told, but his movements were sluggish. I had to push his body down a bit to help him. I made sure he was wrapped up tightly in his winter clothing and that no skin was exposed, then crossed his arms on his chest. When he was bundled as well as I could get him, I laid on top of him, his tiny body engulfed by mine. I wrapped my shaking arms around Carlos and held him close, trying to give him as much of my body heat as I could. I prayed this would help him, and thankfully, it seemed to work a bit. He still shivered, but it wasn't as violent now that I was covering him like a blanket.

I, however, was colder than ever. I buried my face in the crook of Carlos' neck and cringed against the strong winds. All I could do was pray that it would end soon.

Something hot and wet hit my neck suddenly. I looked down to see fat tears pouring out of Carlos' sleep-lagged eyes.

"Carlos… What's wrong buddy, what hurts?" I asked as my teeth chattered.

"James, I don't… I don't want to die," Carlos said softly, his voice hitching in his throat, muffled by the scarf covering his delicate skin. I felt my heart stop for a split second, than regain its beat in a fast, fluttery rhythm. I couldn't believe I just heard my little brother speak those words. I wanted to tell him that everything would be ok… But we were slowly freezing to death. It's like we were just waiting for death to arrive, and it could come at any time. That was the worst part, not knowing when it would happen. It was a morbid, terrifying, _depressing_ thought, but it lingered above us…

_Death._

We were going to die out here.

No matter what I did to protect us, it was something that could so easily happen, just perish out in the middle of the storm, buried in layers and layers of snow. Nobody would ever find us. Nothing I could do would stop that. There was nothing I could do to stop mother nature.

"J-J-Jamie?"

I didn't answer. I was shuddering to hard, from fear and cold. I pressed my face against his cheek and kissed the fabric that covered his skin. A tear escaped my eyes and it instantly froze on my cheek.

"I'm so scared, James."

"Don't be afraid," I said. "You're safe, little brother. As long as you have me, nothing's going to hurt you."

"You're shaking, James. You're cold," Carlos said. Through my frozen, sleepy daze I could hear guilt nipping at his small voice. He wasn't in danger any longer since I curled up on top of him. I could feel his heart beating under mine, and it was steadier, healthier. He would make it through the night, and that's what mattered.

"Jamie, don't leave me… Oh God, don't leave me," Carlos whimpered. I shut my eyes. I couldn't bear the pain he was feeling, his unbridled terror. It was breaking me apart. His pain was a thousand times worse than the mind numbing, bone chilling, paralyzing cold I was experiencing.

"I'm right here," I said in a broken whisper. "Carlitos, I'm always right here. Go to sleep, ssh…"

I wanted so badly to go to sleep as I shushed Carlos. Not only was I talking to keep him calm, but also to keep myself alert. I could feel myself slipping, and I knew if I fell asleep, I may not wake up. And even though Carlos' life was 100 times more important than my own, he was right, I couldn't leave him alone out here. He needed me like I needed him, or maybe I needed him a little more, but I was not ready to leave my brother yet.

Carlos continued to cry. "No, I won't go to sleep. What if I wake up, but you don't? I can't… James, I…"

"No, Carlos don't ever think that," I said. "We'll make it through this, we _have _to make it through this."

In the back of my mind though, I knew only one thing was true, _Carlos_ had to make it through this.

**A/N Yeah see, it was kinda sad and stuffs. Um review if you would like a squish from me. I heard I have very nice squishes. They're like hugs only better. Plus I really like reviews so it's a win-win.**


	8. Fourth Morning's Lights

**A/N Thanks so much for every review last chapter! And thanks everyone for reading!**

Stillness.

That's all my frozen mind could comprehend when I woke up. I hadn't even realized I had fallen asleep until something jolted me awake. I don't know what made me wake up so suddenly, and for a moment I was terrified, because everything was so dark, so _still._ There wasn't a sound to be heard. I thought I might be dead. That's why I was so scared. I honestly thought I was dead at that moment, because I couldn't move. I had even stopped shivering. And the world around me was just so peaceful. The wind was no longer howling. The thunder and lightning had ceased, the sky was velveteen black, and the snow stopped falling. It was a clear early morning with a grayish hue, and it was beautiful, and I was _so_ terrified. What if I had finally died? What if I was maybe on the brink of death?

Suddenly, something jostled beneath me. With all the strength I had left in me, I looked down to see Carlos' groggy eyes peering up at me, blinking slowly.

"Jamie? Is it over?"

Carlos' voice sounded distant and echoed. I moaned in reply, setting my face down on his shoulder. I began to cry. I didn't feel right.

"Jamie? What's going on? You're scaring me, James."

I felt myself being rolled over, and Carlos was hovering over me, examining me. I wanted to bring him back into my arms, I wanted to hold him.

"Carlos, I need… Keep you warm…" I said, trying to tell him that he needed to get back under me to warm him up. "I have…"

"You have what, Jamie?" Carlos whispered, and I felt his knuckles graze over my forehead, back and forth. It soothed me. I closed my eyes.

"…Save you…" I murmured.

"I'm okay James, don't worry," Carlos told me. "I promise, I'm okay. You did save me. But you nearly killed yourself in the process. I have to take care of you now. You're so cold."

"N-no I'm not," I slurred. Carlos looked at me, confused.

"You're hypothermic," Carlos told me. "You must be freezing. I'll warm you up, okay?"

I wanted to tell him that no, I wasn't cold anymore and that I wasn't even shivering, but the words wouldn't come out. I was so tired. I wanted to go back to sleep. It was like I could feel something pulling me away, with promises of peace and rest, so I would never have to feel this weak again…

"James! Hey stay awake buddy." Something slapped my cheek and I blinked. I was agitated by the sharp jolt back to reality. I wanted to go to sleep now.

Suddenly, Carlos gasped. I found him holding my hand, but I couldn't feel his fingers in mine.

"James… Your fingers, look at your fingers," Carlos said, his voice heartbroken and tearful. Through blurry vision, I could see my fingers were bloody and blistered, but for some reason, I wasn't upset about it. Carlos shoved gloves on my hands, but I protested.

"No, Carlos. M'not cold," I slurred.

"You're getting frostbitten," Carlos told me. He still sounded far away and nothing he said made sense to me.

"But I'm hot," I said, squirming around. I had no idea what Carlos was talking about. I wasn't cold at all anymore. I was actually very warm. I wanted to take off my coat, which was so heavy it was hard to breathe in it. I tried to shrug out of my clothes, but I couldn't get my fingers to unzip or unbutton anything.

"James no," Carlos said, grabbing my hands. I tried to pull them away, frustrated. "Jamie! Please, stop! You're delusional! You're not really warm! You are cold. Your body is just confused James- please, stop!"

I finally let up the struggle, giving into Carlos' orders, but I began sobbing instead. Why couldn't I move my fingers? What was happening to me?

"Ssh, it's okay," Carlos cooed, and I was brought into his arms. I settled down against his chest, wailing. "James, you'll be alright. I'm going to help you, okay?"

I was too weak and exhausted to answer. Blackness crept around the edges of my vision, and I let sleep overtake me once again.

It was still dark when I awoke next, and the air still had a somber, silvery tone to it because of the recent heavy snowfall. But this time, there was a small ball of orange nearby, lighting up the area brightly. I wanted to get closer to its warmth. I was so cold… I thought it was the sun rising at first, but really it was a fire.

"Jamie! You're awake! How do you feel?"

I blinked groggily and sat up on my elbows. Carlos sat by the fire, as close as he could get. He was shivering slightly, but that was to be expected. The air was bitter and freezing. "Cold…" I answered. Carlos smiled at this.

"Good," he told me.

I looked at him questioningly. Why was that a good thing?

"It's good you can tell you are actually cold. You were pretty out of it a few hours ago," Carlos told me. "What's the last thing you remember?"

"The storm," I said softly. "I remember it was snowing so hard. I remember thinking we were going to die, and laying on top of you to protect you…"

Carlos shook his head and scooted closer to me, taking me into his arms. Obviously, I didn't remember something important that had happened. I was surprised at Carlos' sudden embrace; usually I was the one who did the comforting. But I melted into his arms regardless.

"You nearly killed yourself doing that," Carlos whispered in my ear.

"I'm fine," I assured him.

"You weren't fine, though, James. You were hypothermic. You were losing your mind. I thought you were going to die."

I looked down guiltily when Carlos' eyes, which were the lightest honey brown in the glow of the firelight, filled with tears.

"Don't ever do that to me again," Carlos told me, his voice demanding yet shaky.

"I won't," I promised. The roles of comforting were reversed. Now it was I who held Carlos tightly, running my gloved hands through his hair.

"Your fingers, they work again?" Carlos asked me after a moment of lying against my chest. "You can move them?"

"My fingers are sore, but I can move them. Why?" I asked.

"They're frostbitten," Carlos told me sadly. It suddenly dawned on my sluggish-feeling brain that I was wearing Carlos' gloves, and his scarf as well. And who had built the fire?

"Carlos, what happened while I was out?" I asked.

"Well, you were acting really sick and stuff. So I bundled you up with my extra clothing and found some kindling to build a fire. I had to walk kind of far… But I needed some dry kindling. I was afraid to leave you, but I knew if I didn't, you would have died."

"You're very brave," I told Carlos. His rosy face lit up with a smile. I placed a brotherly kiss on his cheek and hugged him tightly. "I'm so sorry I did that to you, I'm not going to fall asleep again, okay?"

"Don't be silly, you need to sleep," Carlos told me. "Just don't sacrifice your life for mine, okay? I don't care what you think James. My life is not worth yours. I love you too much."

"You're worth it to me," I assured him, patting his cheek. I tried to take my gloves off to give back to Carlos, but he shook his head.

"No, you need to them for a little while longer," Carlos told me. "I'm fine, see?" Carlos showed me how he kept his hands and fingers tucked inside his coat. I agreed reluctantly, but planned on giving them back very soon.

Suddenly, Carlos let out a harsh, wet-sounding, hacking cough. I looked at him, alarmed, as he coughed into his fist. His face turned beet red with the effort of the painful coughs and his breath came in wheezy gasps.

"Carlos, are you alright?" I asked. He blinked tears away and nodded, but I was not convinced. I leaned over and placed my lips against his forehead to feel for a fever. He was definitely burning up. My stomach twisted with fear. I had saved him from sure hypothermia, but instead, because I had gotten so sick, I had caused him to run a high fever. He was in no condition to be looking around for firewood and taking care of me, when I knew he was so ill himself! I felt resentment towards myself for this. What if I unknowingly made Carlos' condition much, much worse?

"It's not your fault," Carlos assured me. I guess he recognized the guilty look in my eyes.

"Does your arm hurt very much?" I asked, ignoring his statement.

Carlos shook his head at first, but I gave him a knowing look. He sighed.

"Yeah, James. It does. But I'll be okay."

I put my face in my hands, wondering how in the world any of this was okay. Sure, the storm had stopped, which was a blessing, but it was absolutely terrifying how close it had brought us to the brink of death. It hadn't taken much. It was so easy for Mother Nature to just take our lives.

"Jamie, don't cry," Carlos said in a hushed voice. I ignored him. I was angry at myself, and angry that this had happened. Whether we wanted to admit it or not, we were both dying, and we would only get closer to death the longer we stayed out here. We were in a living, frozen nightmare.

"James… Come here, look at this," Carlos told me. I was stubborn and refused to look at him, so he placed a hand beneath my chin and tilted it upwards. "You were so busy being scared, you forgot to look up."

My breath caught in my throat as I looked up in the sky. Off in the distance, swirling greens and blues danced among the stars. It was gorgeous and so surreal, it almost seemed supernatural.

"The northern lights," I whispered in awe. I tore my eyes away from the spectacular sight to look at Carlos, who was staring at the light show with innocent eyes. Despite all the terrors he had gone through, he was still able to lose himself in the beauty of where we were.

Carlos seemed to notice me staring at him, so he glanced at me and smiled. "Come here, Jamie," he told me, wrapping his arms around my neck and pulling me down, so we were lying in the snow. We huddled together, arms around each other and as close as we could get, not only to stay warm but for comfort as well. The only times we felt safe was when we were in each other's arms.

"Maybe it's not so bad up there," Carlos told me as we watched the lights. "Maybe we shouldn't be so scared."

I hated to hear my little brother talk that way. He shouldn't have to think that way yet. It wasn't fair that he was just _accepting_ death like this. Not when he had so much to live for.

"Yes," I told Carlos, kissing his hair softly. He smiled and nuzzled into my chest. "It will be beautiful when we go up there. But something that beautiful, it's worth the wait, when you're old and grey. But for now, you're going to stay down here with me, Kendall and Logan. That's the way it's supposed to be. And nothing's going to change that."

**A/N Thanks for reading! Hope this chapter made sense! Basically, when you are in a hypothermic state, you are very confused and delirious and your body tricks it into thinking it's warm. Don't worry, James is okay because Carlos kept him warm. But if he didn't, he'd be dead by now! So yay Carlos. Review? ;)**


	9. The fourth day: Sugar and Ice

**A/N I'm listening to Windows Down the slow version and it's the sexiest thing I ever heard WHOA. Thanks everyone for every review and read, it means a lot!**

Sunshine came soon, spreading its yellow warmth across the glistening snow as it slowly rose above us. For breakfast, I scooped snow into my mouth and dug around for the fish we had caught, which had stayed fresh and frozen in the snow. I placed our small meal on the fire, listening to the quiet sizzle as it slowly blackened. I rubbed my hands together near the flames for warmth and sat in the quiet, snowy tundra, feeling incredibly lonely.

Carlos was fast asleep. I bundled him up with my gloves and scarf, noticing his cheeks were too red for my liking. As soon as the cold air hit my hands, they started to sting. They were red and blistery, but I was able to move them, so I took that as a good sign. I kept them tucked beneath my coat at all times to avoid re-freezing them.

Carlos was coughing violently in his sleep. I patted his back gently and checked his fever with my chapped lips, since my hands were too cold to properly gauge his temperature. His fever had definitely risen over the past few hours.

"Carlitos, wake up buddy. It's time to eat," I said when the fish was ready. Carlos groaned miserably.

"I'm not hungry," he told me. His eyes stayed shut tight, his long black lashes fanned out across his high cheekbones. He was so pale and looked like a little sleeping angel.

"You're not? But we haven't eaten since yesterday."

"I don't feel good," Carlos confessed, blinking his eyes open. He let out a wet cough and crawled into my lap, resting against my chest. I wrapped my arms around him.

"But you have to eat, buddy. It will give you strength."

"Mm-mmm," Carlos said, shaking his head. I sighed and broke off a piece of the fish, pressing it to Carlos' closed lips. He whined and turned his head away.

"Carlos, Please," I said, but the shivering boy in my arms was lethargic and uncooperative. I placed the bits of fish in my pocket for him to hopefully eat later, gave him a bit of snow to melt in his mouth, and put out our fire. Any hope of being rescued was starting to dwindle. Our only chance would be to keep searching for life or at least shelter. But staying here in the open was not an option. If another night like the last's happened, we would not be able to survive. We had to keep going.

I lifted Carlos into my arms after I finished my portion of breakfast, holding him bridal style so he was cradled close to my chest. It was harder to walk now that there was a thick layer of snow on the ground. I used a lot more strength and energy to take each step, but something deep inside me kept me going. Probably adrenaline or the will to survive, or maybe it was just the will to keep Carlos alive, because honestly if I was out here alone, I would have given up long ago. Most of my thoughts were about bringing Carlos to salvation. I also thought of Logan and Kendall, too. I missed their faces. I missed Kendall's protective warmth and Logan's quiet worry. I wondered if they were safe. I wondered if they have given up on finding us. Of course, I knew right away that they would never give up searching for us.

Which got me to thinking, how long, really, would they be looking for us? Forever? If we were to die, when would they finally accept the fact that we were not coming back? Would they waste the rest of their lives searching for our bodies, holding onto the tiny hope that maybe we were actually alive? That thought scared me worse than death, honestly. Just knowing Kendall and Logan would dedicate their entire lives looking for our dead bodies and never stopping until we were found… It gave me chills down my spine that had nothing to do with the cold.

I wanted Big Time Rush to go on without me. That band was everything to me, it was my heart and my soul. And even without me (Or, God forbid, Carlos either) I would want the band to continue where we left off, I would want Kendall and Logan to keep what was left of our band together.

And my mom and dad… I didn't talk to my dad much, seeing as how he was pretty much a deadbeat punk rock loser, but at the same time I knew how much he loved me in his own strange ways. And my mom, who had separation anxiety when she was away from me even when we face-talked every single night, she'd probably lose her mind if she ever lost me.

And what about Carlos? Say he survived this all, and I didn't? It was frighteningly easy for me to lay down my life for that boy. I would do it in a heartbeat. But how messed up and broken would I leave him if I did die out here? He'd be nothing more than a scared, vulnerable little bunny rabbit. He could die out here alone. I didn't want that to happen. I couldn't let that happen.

Suddenly, Carlos groaned and squirmed in my arms. His eyes peeked open into tiny slits and he stared at me. "Too tight," he whispered.

"Oh, Carlos I'm sorry," I said, realizing that, because I was so afraid of losing him, I was holding him with a vice grip to my chest. I loosened my hold a bit and shifted his weight. He was alarmingly light, obviously losing weight rapidly from his illness and starvation, but my arms were weaker than normal and were starting to shake under his weight.

A small gloved hand reached up from where his arms were wrapped around his abdomen and touched my cheek thoughtfully. I was crying subconsciously as I walked, I could feel the wetness on my cold cheeks. I blinked rapidly to clear the tears from my eyes.

"Are you hurt?" Carlos asked me. I shook my head, but he didn't believe me.

"Let's rest for a moment-"

"No, I'm fine, 'Litos-"

"Jamie, sit down," Carlos interrupted me. His voice was weak, but firm. He was right, I could use a short rest. My legs were tired and my chest was heaving, trying to catch a breath of the cold air that burned my lungs.

"Okay," I told him, setting him down first. I sat next to him and brought my knees to my chest. Carlos leaned against my shoulder, his eyes gazing around our snowy white surroundings. Wherever we were was still pretty open, with just a few scattered trees. The lake was to the left of us, and seemed to be frozen over. Beyond that were hills and trees stretching for miles. I wondered if the snow and the trees and the absolute _nothing_ stretched on literally forever, and the real world was actually gone, it just didn't exist anymore and no matter how long we walked on for, we would never get anywhere except for this snowy hell.

I was so lost in my morbid thoughts, that I didn't even notice the lack of weight against my shoulder at first. It wasn't until I went to ask Carlos if he would eat now, that I saw he wasn't there anymore.

"Carlos?" I asked. The panic was instant, hitting me like a ton of bricks. My mind melted over and a cold ball of fear formed in my stomach. "Carlos!"

"Ssh!" A voice said from behind me. I jumped to my feet and whipped around to see Carlos several yards away from me. He was crouched in front of something that I couldn't see.

"'Los, what are you doing?" I asked, slowly approaching him. Carlos didn't answer me. I peered over his shoulder to find him stroking something that looked small, white and soft. "Carlitos, what is that?"

"It's an owl," Carlos told me. As if on cue, the little white creature looked up at me with wide, black eyes and a cute, tiny beak. He was majestic and beautiful, but something seemed wrong.

Carlos scooped the little guy up in his arms and cradled it ever so gently.

"Carlos, careful," I warned. "He might bite."

"He won't bite me," Carlos told me assuredly.

"How in the world did you ever see him in the snow, buddy?" I asked.

"I heard him crying," Carlos said simply. His thumb was still stroking over the owl's feathers, calming the creature.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"He's like me, his wing is hurt, just like my arm. And he looks so scared. He doesn't know if he's going to live or die, he's just waiting for somebody to help him."

"Oh, Carlos…" I whispered. I didn't know what to say to that.

"We have to help him," Carlos told me, and his voice had a pleading edge to it. He showed me the little bird's wing. It was bloody and a bit mangled. There was no way he'd be able to fly to catch his own food, or protect himself from dangers.

"I'm sorry, Carlos, but there's not much we can do," I said, leaving out my thoughts that it was hard enough to just keep us alive let alone another animal.

"I have to do something," Carlos said. He let out another hacking cough. I quickly took the helpless bird from Carlos' hands as his entire body shook.

"You need to rest. That is what you have to do," I told him. "Sit down. I'll give you something to eat."

Carlos sat down and rubbed his chest. He looked like he was in an awful amount of pain, but he didn't complain about it.

"Is your chest hurting you?" I asked worriedly.

"It's okay," Carlos told me.

"No it's not, you need medicine," I said.

"So does he," Carlos said, taking the owl from my hands. "It's okay, little guy. We'll help you."

"We can't help him until we find help ourselves, Carlos," I said, a bit annoyed that he was more worried about the birdie then himself. He ignored me. I pulled out the bit of fish he had left from breakfast and handed it to my little brother. "I need you to eat something now."

I sighed with relief when Carlos took the fish from me and put a little bit in his mouth. Carlos noticed the owl staring at him longingly with those big round eyes, and, just as I expected, he broke off a piece of his only food and placed it near the bird's beak. The owl snatched the meat from his fingers and swallowed it quickly.

"Carlos! No, that food is for you! It's all you have," I yelled. Carlos jumped, startled at the force of my voice. The owl screeched and nuzzled into Carlos' coat.

"You scared him!" Carlos cried.

"That bird is not as important as you!" I scolded. "You need to eat your fish and let the owl be, nature has its own way of working and we can't save that bird even if we tried. Just eat your food so we can go on. We are just wasting time."

Carlos looked at me with shiny, saucer-wide eyes. "Why are you being mean to me and Sugar?" He asked sadly, his red lips forming a pout. My heart lurched, because I was reminded of the Carlos he used to be at Palmwoods. Caring and naïve, always finding something or somebody to take care of.

"You named him 'Sugar'?" I asked.

"Because he's as white and soft as powdered sugar," Carlos explained.

I sighed. "You give him one more little piece of fish and the rest is yours, understand?" I said. The closest thing to a smile I had seen since we became lost spread across Carlos' face, showing a sweet dimple against his caramel skin.

"Thank you James," Carlos said sincerely. He fed Sugar another piece of fish before eating half himself.

"I'm not too hungry anymore," Carlos informed me, an uncomfortable look etched upon his face.

"But you barely ate," I said. Carlos coughed and rubbed his stomach.

"I'm feeling sick, Jamie. I just don't want to eat. At least I ate a little, right?

"Right," I told him, trying to stay positive. I pressed the back of my hand to his forehead. He was too feverish. "That's good, buddy. You can always try again later."

"Do I have a fever?" Carlos asked me bluntly. I adjusted his scarf and patted his cheek.

"Yeah, you do. I think you might have come down with something along with the infection in your arm. This kind of weather causes pneumonia. That's why you need to stay bundled and get rest."

Carlos settled against me and closed his eyes. "I'm feeling tired. Can I rest a bit more until we walk again?"

"Of course you can, buddy," I said, wrapping my arms around his shoulders. Carlos rested his feverish face on my chest and settled down to take a nap. I rocked him to sleep. His breathing quickly evened out as he fell right to sleep, but there was a wet sounding wheeze deep in his chest. I had feared he might develop pneumonia from the cold, since his resistance was already so low from the fever, and now my fears were coming true. He was showing sure signs of the horrible illness, and his fever was much too high.

Carlos slept for about an hour before coughing himself awake. I was just dozing off into a half sleep, but jolted awake to pat his back through the fit.

"I don't feel good," Carlos told me when the fit was over, his chest heaving painfully. I ran my fingers thru his hair.

"Go back to sleep, buddy."

"No, we need to walk," he said sleepily. "We're almost there, I know we are."

"Almost where?" I asked.

"Somewhere safe," Carlos told me. "I can feel it. We need to keep going." The small boy put Sugar, who was fast asleep, in his biggest pocket and stood up on wobbly legs.

"Whoa, steady," I said, getting to my feet to help him.

"I'm fine, James."

"I can carry you, come here-"

"No I'm fine, I'll be okay I swear," Carlos said defiantly, and I had a feeling he was telling himself more than me.

"Okay," I said softly. "I'm right here if you need me to carry you. We'll walk for a bit but let me know when you need to rest."

It wasn't long before Carlos' steps slowed and his eyes became glassy and dazed.

"James, will you sing to me?" He asked me, stumbling a bit in the snow. He reached out and grabbed onto my arm and I caught him swiftly, finally getting a good look at his face. He looked so sick and gray, with a flush of fever on his cheeks. It gave me a dark feeling in my gut, just knowing he was so far from okay.

"Yeah, I'll sing to you, of course I will buddy," I said soothingly. Carlos leant against me for a moment to get his strength back, but he was my trooper and continued walking as I sang the lyrics to "Invisible." My voice was creaky and tired, but Carlos became lost in the song regardless. It always gave him hope and comfort.

"…'_But I won't let you fall, I'll see you, through them all. And I just want to let you know, oh, when the lights go down in the city, you'll be right there shining bright. You're the star the sky's the limit, and I'll be right by your side,"_ I sang softly for the umpteenth time, but I wasn't able to finish the verse, Carlos suddenly latched onto my arm and started coughing harder than ever. I held him through it, gently coaxing him and telling him it was alright.

"It hurts James," Carlos whined.

"I know," I whispered, resting my chin on his head and kissing his hair. "I wish I could make you feel better."

Carlos whimpered and doubled over, retching and coughing. I forced back tears as I rubbed his back. My stomach felt sick when I saw bright red drip from Carlos' mouth onto the snow below us, staining the pure white substance crimson. Carlos freaked out when he saw his own blood mixed with spit on the snow.

"James! Wh-what does it mean?" He wailed, hugging my waist.

"I think you have pneumonia. The doctors will fix you right up, though. Alright? You don't have to worry." I hoped lying to Carlos like this was okay. I didn't want him to be scared, but I felt as if I was giving him false hope.

"Jamie… We are going to find help, right? There has to be something out here. Somebody has to help us, right?" Carlos let out a sob, clinging onto me.

"Yes, we will, 'Litos. I'll find us help. I swear to it Carlos. Ssh, ssh. We aren't going to die out here. Hush now, don't cry."

I held Carlos until he calmed down a bit. I heard a strange sound coming from Carlos' coat pocket and looked down. "I think Sugar needs you, Carlos," I said, hoping the bird would cheer him up a bit.

Carlos reached into his pocket and gently pulled out his small owl. He was definitely not a full grown adult, judging by how small he was.

"I wonder where your mommy is," Carlos cooed, stroking his alabaster feathers. The owl was content in his new daddy's arms and nuzzled down there. Carlos kissed his hurt wing tenderly.

Carlos was quiet and weak the rest of the day. Many times I had to catch him from falling or help him walk. His cough progressed as each hour passed, but he did not complain once. It was amazing. How did such a sick kid keep going? I had no idea he was doing it all for me.

"I bet we can make a fire and go to sleep now," I said when the sun disappeared behind the trees. It was nearly nightfall. We had been walking pretty much all day and covered a lot of ground, but it was not enough. Everything looked the same, no sign of help anywhere.

I had the strangest, paranoid feeling in my tummy. It was the same sinking, sick feeling I had whenever we first became lost, only tenfold. Carlos noticed I seemed on edge and asked me if I was alright.

"I'm fine, just thinking," I assured him. "Come on, you rest up, darling. I'll make us a strong fire to keep us warm."

Carlos obeyed and plopped down in the snow, finally resting his weary, chilled bones. He watched me as I made a fire, a question on his lips yet never making a sound. After I finished building our fire, I sat beside him.

"What's on your mind, Carlos?"

"Do you feel it too?" He asked me.

"Feel what?" I asked, acting clueless.

"As if it's our last night out here, Jamie." Carlos glanced up at me, his lip quivering. "A-and not because help will have come, but because-"

"Ssh, ssh, don't talk like this baby," I cooed when Carlos broke off into a sob. I gathered him in my arms and laid soothing kisses on his forehead and hair. It concerned me that Carlos was as apprehensive about tonight as I was, but I was sure it was all in our heads… "Come on, buddy, you need to calm down. You'll only make yourself sicker. Don't you cry. I'm here, Carlos. I'm here… Ssh…"

"C-can Sugar sleep with us tonight? He's cold," Carlos said hopefully.

"Sure, anything you want Carlos. He can sleep with us tonight," I said, squeezing Carlos' unhurt arm. I laid one more kiss on his small button nose and settled down. I was quite tired, and I wanted nothing more after such a long day of travelling to fall asleep with Carlos by my side.

The sun was setting, and the sky was a dusky purple twilight. My eyes fluttered closed, but no sooner then I started to fall asleep, I felt as if I lost some warmth. Something was wrong.

Just like early that afternoon, Carlos was gone from my side, leaving me feeling bare and empty and panicked.

"Carlitos!" I screeched, worrying that maybe he had to get up to vomit or something. Since it was near dark, it was hard to spot him quickly, but I saw him at the edge of the lake, staring at something among the hills in the distance.

"Carlos, what are you doing? Come back to the fire and lie down, you're sick," I said, walking towards him.

"Jamie, look! Look we're saved!" Carlos said, pointing to the hills. I squinted my eyes and saw it: Puffs of smoke billowing out from between the trees and over the hills. It was far away, probably further than either of us thought, but it was a sign of life.

"It looks like smoke from a chimney! It's going to be okay, James! Let's go!"

I was still in shock by his finding. I was going to give him praises, but before I was even halfway towards my little brother, he broke out into run, heading over the frozen lake.

"Carlos, you're too sick to be running!" I scolded. "Stop that right now!" I began to run as well, anxious to get to Carlos. He stopped and put his hands on his knees. Even from far away, I could see his little body heaving for breaths. I he was having a coughing fit, and I wasn't there.

"Hold on, buddy! I'm coming!" I said, but as soon as my feet hit the frozen lake, warning bells went off in my head. I immediately stopped. It was kind of like that sense of danger I had that night when the wolves attacked me, a survival instinct telling me to think before moving.

At the same moment I stopped, Carlos stood up. He was still a distance away from me, but I could see the sheer terror in his eyes. He put out his hand in a "halt" motion. I stood and watched, wondering what was going on, confused and panicked.

And then I could hear it. It was a quiet, soft noise that grew to be loud and terrifying.

"Oh God, no," I whispered, finally knowing what was happening. The noise was that of ice creaking and then breaking apart. It suddenly dawned on me that the lake would not be frozen solid yet; it was still just the beginnings of winter. The temperatures during the day were not much below freezing.

"Carlos, do not move," I said, a silent, repetitive prayer going on inside my head that this wasn't actually happening. I wanted to move, but I couldn't, partially because I knew it would make things worse and mostly because I was paralyzed by pure fear.

"Jamie… Jamie!" Carlos screamed, his terrified voice echoing in my ears, a sound that would haunt me for the rest of my life, however long it would last after this. There was one more loud, horrible crack and, as Carlos' small body dropped down, my heart plummeted in my chest. His arms flailed for a moment in midair and then he was gone, encased in blackness and ice and freezing water.

**A/N Uh-oh 0_o Review? ;)**


	10. The Fourth Night: Letting Go

**A/N Hey guys Thanks for all the reviews and stuffs. You guys rock! This chapter was hard for me to write. You'll see about halfway through until the end why….**

As soon as I saw Carlos go down, I didn't even care anymore. Any rationality was replaced by panic and the drive to save my best friend. I ran out on the ice and got down on my belly, scooting towards the edge where Carlos had gone down, ignoring how the ice creaked dangerously. I was careful not to make any sudden movement, but all I could think about was Carlos. Some part of me thought that he would pop up any moment now, cold and shaken, but _alive._ He was a strong swimmer. It only took me a second to realize he was not coming back up.

I ripped my coat and shoes off in a quick motion, knowing I would need some dry clothes after we emerged, and also the heavy clothing would only drag me down. I guess I had kept some rational thinking way in the back of my brain, but not enough to keep me from diving into the water to rescue Carlos.

The freezing temperatures struck me hard, shocking all the breath out of me. It was dark in the water, like an endless black abyss. I could only rely on my instincts to find Carlos. I forced my eyes open and the water stung my eyes like a million tiny icicles, but I saw a dark form floating in the water. I swam to it and latched onto it with my arms. I wanted to cry with relief that I had at least found Carlos, but I had several other problems now. He was heavy and unmoving, so I had no idea if he was even alive. I was weak and exhausted and running out air. It was so cold I could barely even think. I swam up towards where I came from, but everything looked the same, just _black._

My lungs burned and agony filled my mind. I refused to let my last breath go, for Carlos' sake, but my hope was dwindling. I didn't want to die here, in some lake in the middle of nowhere, never to be found again. But I could not take this water very much longer.

With my last bit of strength, I pushed up to what I hoped would be salvation, but the top of my head collided roughly with something solid. I hardly felt it though, as I was in so much pain already. But at least I was at the top.

My eyes searched frantically for the hole I dove through as I clutched Carlos like a cold, wet rag doll. He was still and lifeless and something told me he was dead already, he had to be. But that didn't stop me from looking for an escape from the icy deathtrap that threatened to kill us both. I wouldn't _let _it kill us, not after everything we had been through.

Stars danced along my vision as I felt for an opening. My skull felt like it was going to be crushed any moment, and my panic was being replaced by the simple, desperate need for the pain to go away. What would be the point, anyway? Carlos was surely dead, we wouldn't be able to survive outside of the water anymore then when we were submerged. Trying to survive only meant more pain.

As the morbid thoughts danced across my delirious mind, my fingers finally found… Nothing. Cold air swept across the numb skin, no longer being blocked by the endless sheet of ice. I couldn't believe it. I had found it, our one escape.

Any thoughts of death were gone now. First I heaved Carlos through the hole, than I climbed out after him, collapsing beside my best friend. I coughed up what seemed like a gallon of freezing, murky water, creating burning sensations as it poured out of my nose and mouth.

I thought I would have to perform CPR on Carlos, but to my surprise, he began choking on his own, without my help. I rolled him onto his side as water poured out of his mouth. I wanted to whisper encouragement to him, but all that came out was coughs and more water.

Carlos was clutching something white in the palm of his frozen little hands as he hacked, still unconscious. I pried his frozen fingers apart which-I realized with horror- were an odd shade of pale blue, and removed the drenched ball of feathers from his hand. Sugar stared up at me with eyes as black as the water that almost took our lives. Unfortunately, Sugar had not been as lucky as Carlos and I. The fact that Carlos was so attached to the tiny but sweet creature was what caused me to sob as I threw the owl back into the water, knowing that Carlos could never bear to stand seeing his new pet had died.

"Juh-Jam-"

"Ssh," I said softly, and I was surprised how much strength it took just to try to speak. Tears flooded my eyes as Carlos looked up at me, his chest moving up and down with effort. He was awake, dazed and scared, but _alive._ I sobbed with relief, silently thankful that I had not given up while I was under the ice, because that would have been a decision that killed us both. I was shivering violently but despite that, I grabbed my coat and Carlos and moved us away from the thin ice, back to shore. My knees gave out and I fell to the ground, Carlos toppling over with me. I nearly squished him, but his shaking arms wrapped listlessly around my waist. I knew I couldn't move anymore, I was too weak. I literally had nothing left in me. So I wrapped my heavy coat around our soaking wet bodies and hugged Carlos to my chest. His eyes were dull and dark and his face-even his lips- were the most disturbing blueish-gray color I had ever seen.

Words were void, we only clung to each other for warmth, but our body heat was already so low, that it didn't really help any. I saw Carlos staring at the gray smoke in the distance, our only hope for help so close yet unreachably far away. There was no way either of us could make it there. The smoke was probably several miles away.

"F-fire," Carlos stuttered under his breath.

"Wh-what baby?" I asked, putting my ear against his cold mouth. Even his breath was cold.

"F-fuh-fire," Carlos repeated.

"I can't," I told him. I couldn't move anymore. We would need a fire. But I could not find firewood, not now. I just _couldn't. _"I-I'm sorry, Carlos," I said with a sob. Carlos just buried his face in my neck, silently understanding. If I could just warm up a bit, I could get start a fire. But right now, the only thing I really could do was lie there, frozen in shock and waiting for sleep to come. We were both sopping wet, and I knew we would not last very much longer like that, so I removed Carlos' coat and thermals and undressed my top half as well, then wrapped ourselves up in my coat. We both had lost an alarming amount of weight, so the large coat was able to zip around the both of us snuggly, almost like a sleeping bag. Carlos's back was pressed tightly to my chest and my arms were wrapped protectively around his waist.

"C-can we sleep for a bit?" Carlos asked, a cough wracking his poor body. I rubbed his chest to comfort him.

"Yeah, let's go to sleep," I said, and I was thankful Carlos wasn't facing me so he couldn't see the tears in my eyes. This was it, I knew it. Deep in my gut, I knew that our journey was over. I felt despair, don't get me wrong, but at the same time, it was kind of a peaceful feeling. No more pain, no more surprises. We could finally lie down and _rest._ "Morning won't be so far now, Carlitos. Pretty soon, the sun will be shining so bright. We'll be warm again. We'll be warm again soon. No more cold. Just warmth. You won't be sick anymore, either."

Carlos was crying now. His fingers intertwined with mine, and his grip was so weak, it was like it was hardly there. I rubbed his fingers soothingly, hoping to warm them up.

"Tell me it will be okay," Carlos whispered shakily. "It won't hurt, right?"

"It won't hurt because I'll hold you through it," I said. I still rubbed circles on his chest and pressed my nose to his hair. I realized this was the last time I could ever hold him, ever smell his hair. "I'll never let go. Go to sleep now. I gotcha, baby. I gotcha."

I tightened my grip around Carlos, willing his violent shivering to go away. I wished I could take this all away. All I knew was that Carlos couldn't suffer anymore, it wasn't fair. If God's plans did not involve us on this earth, then so be it. I just did not want Carlos to be in pain anymore. Maybe, by some chance, some miracle we would survive the night. But I had literally lost all hope. It was the strangest feeling, to give up hope. To actually _want _to die.

"Sugar doesn't hurt anymore, right?" Carlos asked. His voice was heavy with sleep.

"No, honey, Sugar doesn't hurt. His wing is all better, and he can fly and soar wherever he wants now," I assured Carlos. He gave a tiny nod of his head and allowed himself to drift off to sleep.

"I'll see you in the morning, brother," Carlos said, and he was amazingly calm. "With the sunshine." I allowed a small smile to creep on my face and nuzzled my face into his shoulder.

"With the sunshine," I said. "Tons of it." Carlos' eyelids fluttered shut.

As soon as Carlos' breathing evened out, I began to sob. They were the most violent sobs I had ever endured. My entire body quaked and it felt like my head was caving in as tears poured from my eyes. I knew Carlos was going to leave me soon, and I just couldn't bear it. Nobody prepares you for your best friend dying in your arms. All I could do was sob. I didn't want him to go. I wanted his pain to go away, but I didn't want him to go. I would never see his smile again, or comfort him after a nightmare or watch how absolutely elated and excited he was after a concert. I missed it so much. I missed how happy he was and how after the longest day, he always seemed to make everything okay. He was a handful sometimes, like an annoying little brother, but he was _my _handful.

"I'll miss you," I squeaked in Carlos' ears as my loud sobs echoed through the wilderness. I felt like my middle was being torn apart from the inside, as slowly as could be. It was agonizing and I would rather be under that frozen lake again then have to go through this, as long as Carlos would be okay. I would jump into that lake if I knew Carlos would live.

"Please hold on, Carlos. I can save us," I cried. I wondered if I could make it to the smoke in time? Maybe I could save us. Maybe I wasn't ready to give up yet…

I went to get on my hands and knees to take off the coat, but I collapsed before I was even on my knees. I couldn't lift my body off the ground. I groaned and sobbed. It hurt so much.

Carlos' hand gripped mine again. I froze. Was he awake?

"James… Stay. You promised," Carlos said, his voice full of desperation. "Don't leave me…" Carlos rolled over, so he was lying on my chest. I held him as if he were a baby and kissed his head.

"Okay, 'Litos. I won't leave you. I'm right here. Ssh, don't cry…"

Carlos whimpered and fell back to sleep. I leaned my head back and looked up at the sky. It was a clear night, no sign of anymore storms at least. The stars were bright silver. I wished Carlos could see them. He loved the stars. They took his breath away every time he saw them. Sometimes, I would find him on the roof of the Palmwoods, staring at the sky at night. He would fall asleep up there, and I would have to carry him down to bed so he didn't catch cold.

I thought of all the sweetest moments I had shared with Carlos, as well as Logan and Kendall. God, I missed them so much. I wanted just one more chance to give them all hugs, so I could say goodbye and tell them I am okay. How far were they from me? Or maybe, by some twisted joke, they were closer than I thought. We were all just looking in all the wrong spots, missing each other by just moments and inches.

Eventually, Carlos stopped shivering. I knew that was a bad sign. It meant he had severe hypothermia. His breathing was short and his pulse was slow. His chest rose and fell weakly, too slowly. He was slipping away.

"You're doing great buddy," I whispered. He was holding on so tightly. He was stronger than me, I think. He wasn't ready to give up. I prayed to God endlessly that he would give him the strength to make it through the night, until salvation came. But the odds were against us, no matter how hard either of us fought to hang on. Carlos lay lifeless in my arms. His pale skin was nearly as white as the snow below us and his lips were blue. You didn't have to be a genius to know that any healthy person should never look this way, especially when that person was supposed to be a tan, vibrant Latino. I didn't want to know if he was alive or not. I couldn't bring myself to check. I just held him and rocked his tiny body as tears rolled out of my eyes and splashed onto his frozen cheeks. I wiped the teardrops away with my thumb, my calloused skin running gently over his smooth, cold cheekbones. I was disillusioned to think he would ever be able to survive through the night, not after what he had been through, but I couldn't ignore that glimmer of hope that sparked warm in my belly, despite the fact that I was close to hypothermia. Carlos wouldn't die on me, not here in this desolate, eerie place. Not when he was this scared and ill. I wouldn't allow it, and God surely wouldn't allow it, would he? Carlos was the one who was supposed to be protected and sheltered. He was nothing more than an innocent boy. He was little Carlos Garcia, boy of chubby cheeks and perpetual innocence. He was my baby brother, and nothing would ever happen to him on my watch. Maybe some would say I was in denial, already in a stage of mourning, because to anybody on the outside looking in it would seem that it would be nearly impossible for Carlos to live, that it would even take a miracle to survive something like that.

"I'm sorry. Nothing was supposed to happen to you." I said, placing my ear on Carlos' heart. It was so distant and slow. It would be a matter of minutes now. "I'm so sorry. I can't hold on any longer," I whispered. I was so cold, but somehow comfortable with Carlos nestled in my arms. I was thinking of being onstage with my boys again. Those were the best moments of my life, and with those dreams running pleasantly through my mind, spreading phantom warmth through my frozen body, I closed my eyes for the last time.

**A/N THE END. Just kidding. This actually has one, maybe two chappies left to it! I'm so happy I am actually finishing a story! That's rare for me and I'm proud. Um tell me how heartbroken/sad/angry/skdgnjeiohjenij you are in a review over this chapter! I won't give out the ending though ;) Um I have to go get my tragus re-pierced, because it pushed out halfway during the night while I was sleeping and now it's half lodged in there. This will be a painful evening. :'( wish me luck. Love you guys and reviews are unicorns!**


	11. The Aftermath: Reunited

**A/N Okay guys. This is the FINAL CHAPTER… And I am about to cry! I had so much fun writing this story, even though it's different than what I usually write being it was in first person the whole time. It was an awesome challenge and I am actually really happy with the way this story turned out, it was exactly how I planned and honestly, it's perfect to me because usually my stories just drift off and explode into weirdness after a while lol. So I am really happy I got to finish this as planned and I am so happy you all liked this story and supported it! Okay enough cuteness onto the finale ;)**

I'm not sure what happened after everything went black. All I knew, was that I was not dead. I could not move or speak, but I could feel so much. I was very vaguely aware of the icy cold feeling rushing through my veins after nearly freezing to death, and then I was warm, but the coldness was replaced by unbearable pain. If I really were dead, I would not be in the tremendous ordeal of pain that overtook all of my senses. Soon though, the agony faded away and I felt nothing, nothing but fear. I was searching through a dark oblivion, although I wasn't moving-I couldn't, it was as if I was paralyzed, for Carlos. I knew he was nearby, but I couldn't see, hear or feel him. I was so scared for my brother. Sorrow filled my heart as I wondered if I would ever get to see his angelic face again. Would I be left here forever to worry if Carlos was okay or not? Had he died? Was he in pain? Or was he just as lost as I was? I was not scared for myself. Carlos was the only one on my mind.

I wasn't in the oblivion for very long. It had felt like a short nightmare. I had prayed it was only a nightmare, and I guess for once my prayers were heard, because I started becoming aware of some things, like a distant beeping noise and a soft feeling beneath my body. I was, for the first time in so long, comfortable. I somehow knew that I wasn't in the snow anymore. I was somewhere warm and safe. I could actually feel the blood pumping through my veins, spreading warmth throughout my body, rather than that frozen feeling I had become so accustomed to.

As these things became more and more intense, more real, I opened my eyes-

Only to be met with more darkness.

Panic rushed through me as I gasped for air, which was for some reason, hard to do. Something was in my throat! I began to cough and gag and my hand automatically went to my mouth to yank whatever was blocking airflow away from my throat. I tugged harshly and the thing was removed, but I felt like I literally ripped my throat out! A warm, iron-tasting liquid trickled down my throat. I let out a dry sob and tried to call out for my mom from the extreme pain, but no sound came out. I couldn't cry for help. I was alone, just like I had been all this time, but I wished I was still where ever I was before I woke up, because that place was strangely peaceful, while here I felt hysterical with pain and panic.

_Carlos_

He was still lost. However confused and delirious I was, I still managed to roll off the bed I was lying in, desperate to find him since I knew could move. But as soon as my feet touched solid ground, I collapsed as if I really were still paralyzed. I could not hold my own weight, let alone get up from my sprawled-out position on the floor.

"James?"

Someone said my name, and it was so familiar and sweet that I immediately calmed down despite the fact I was silently crying my eyes out on the floor. The room I was in was suddenly washed out with whiteness. I blinked rapidly as the white burned my eyes. I tried to scream, but it was raspy and barely audible and only made my throat burn even more. I coughed and more of that mystery liquid spewed from my mouth. I was nearly choking on it.

"Ssh, ssh, calm down," the voice told me, and the familiarity was killing me. He was stern yet soothing and when large arms wrapped around my trembling frame, I leaned into them and wept openly.

"Jamie, you're alright. Look at me, it's Kendall. I'm right here."

Tender fingers were placed beneath my chin and the voice willed me to open my eyes into tiny slits. I ignored the brightness of the lights and focused on the eyes that looked like two green gems staring at me.

_Kendall_.

I clung onto Kendall as if he was my lifeline. He was talking to somebody, even though his eyes were focused on mine, but I couldn't see who in the room with us.

"Call in a doctor! He ripped out his breathing tube and he's bleeding! James, you need to calm down, you're okay. You're going to be alright, buddy."

Memories of me holding Carlos in the exact same way and saying the same things to comfort him flooded my delirious mind. I had to find him. Was he dead? Had only I made it out alive?

"Cuh-Cuh," I choked out. It felt like knives were in my throat, cutting me open each time I tried to speak.

"Ssh, don't speak James. Do you remember what happened?" When I didn't answer, just continued to sob for Carlos, Kendall explained to me where I was. "Listen to me buddy. You were lost in the woods for nearly five days. By some miracle, an old woodcutter living nearby found you and Carlos…" Kendall's voice cut off, and I realized he was crying. It dawned on me that he was probably as scared as I was. I leaned into his chest and kissed his neck, silently urging him that it was okay to go on since I couldn't speak. Kendall wiped crystal tears from his eyes-I was so happy to see those emerald eyes again- before he went on.

"He found you boys at the last minute. You both were severely hypothermic. Nobody thought you would make it… They assumed you were dead b-but I knew better. I knew you could do it, James. I knew you would make it. Y-you have frostbite pretty bad, that's why your legs are bandaged and you can't walk. It's worst in your feet and legs, because you were soaking wet on your bottom half, somehow. I have no idea what kind of hell you went through James but I am so, so sorry and I am so grateful you are awake."

Kendall began to weep on my shoulder and we held each other as I tried to take everything in. My brain was starting to clear and I didn't so much feel like I was having an out of body experience anymore. This was real. I was alive, and awake, and I had survived being stranded in a frozen wilderness. So many questions raged in my suddenly buzzing mind, but only one stood out more important than the rest. Where was Carlos? How could he still be alive, after everything he had gone through with infections, hypothermia, exhaustion, starvation and pneumonia. What kind of condition could he possibly be in if he _wasn't_ dead?

Though I wanted to continue to comfort Kendall, I pulled back slightly and placed my hands, which were bandaged as well, on his biceps, praying he'd be able to read my questioning expression. Kendall looked like he was trying to decipher what I was trying to communicate with him, and it didn't take long for him to realize what I was trying to say. Though he looked solemn, he opened his mouth to speak, right when doctors flooded the room. I looked up, frightened by their sudden appearance. They took me from Kendall's arms and I let out a scream of terror that ravaged my abused throat. I was too weak to cling to Kendall. They took me from him and it felt like my entire world was crashing down because of it. I needed his arms, I needed that safe place after such a terrifying, living nightmare.

"It's okay, they're going to take care of you James. Don't cry!"

Logan was speaking now. I looked into his chocolate brown eyes, his sweet eyes that I never thought I'd see again, and broke down even more.

"Logie," I rasped out.

"I'm here," Logan assured me, and it was all I needed for my heart to stop pounding so wildly in my chest.

"Don't speak honey," a female doctor told me. "You ripped out your breathing tube and it caused damage to your throat. He's going to need stitches, guys. Get him prepped for surgery, stat."

I shook my head. I couldn't go into surgery. I couldn't be asleep again! What if I didn't wake up this time? I needed to find Carlos!

"Carlos!" I yelled out, trying to avoid the pesky doctors from working on me as if I were their pet. "P-please…" I began to cry, dreading the news that was most likely coming. But I had to know.

"He needs to know where Carlos is!" Kendall said, finally catching on. Suddenly, he was in my line of vision rather than the doctors. His warm hands were on my forehead, stroking my hair back rhythmically. "James, he's alive. Carlos is alive, buddy."

I closed my eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. The pain in my throat was threatening to blacken me out, and I could hear frantic beeping, but I didn't realize that it was my heart monitor going crazy. When I opened my eyes again, Kendall was staring back at me with tear filled eyes. I knew it, and it was like a knife being shoved in my gut. Carlos was not okay. How could he be okay? He may be alive… But for how long?

"He's in a coma, James," Kendall told me, choking up. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!"

Logan came into view, tears flooding from his chocolate eyes as well as he held Kendall by his quivering shoulders. This wasn't fair. My beautiful friends were crying so much and it hurt as much as my throat did. I didn't know why it was Kendall who was saying he was sorry, when it was my fault Carlos was almost dead. It was my fault he had to go through so much. I was supposed to protect him!

"He's becoming too excited, we need to put him to sleep now," a doctor announced. I shook my head. I tried to say no over and over again, but all that came out were raspy croaks.

"It's okay, we'll be right here when you wake up."

I continued to chant "no" over and over again in my brain, thrashing around as a mask came closer and closer to my face. I didn't want to face the darkness again, but it crept around my vision like flooding ink and my body finally relaxed…

The next time I awoke was much less terrifying. I felt like I was floating on a cloud, and my first thought above anything else was "Am I high?" Because that was how it certainly felt like. I was also very warm, lying against something solid and… Breathing?

I opened my eyes to find I was snuggled in Kendall's arms. He was sleeping beside me, tear streaks across his flushed cheeks indicating he had been crying. Logan was curled up at the foot of my bed like a tiny kitten. He even let out mewling sounds once in a while. It was so cute. I was comfy, although I felt so disconnected that I couldn't even move a muscle. They must have knocked me full of pain medication because I literally felt nothing but warmth.

The emotional torture had yet to kick in. Now, I was content with my friends surrounding me, the way it should be. Maybe one full minute had passed before I realized Carlos was missing. Before I remembered he was in a coma, probably to never wake up again. And then I had that stabbing-in-the-gut pain again, despite the fact I was unbelievably high. I must have been crying, because Kendall and Logan woke up immediately and began to comfort me.

"Hey, ssh, it's alright. What hurts?" Logan asked me, pressing his hand against my forehead and neck. I tried to speak, but no sound came out.

"You can't speak buddy, you had stitches put in," Logan explained. "You have to point to what hurts."

I shook my head, because it was the truth, nothing physical hurt at all. I had no way to communicate because my fingers weren't worth much as they were bandaged up, so I couldn't write down my questions. I wanted to know everything, like how long I had been out for, what Carlos' entire condition was, if my parents were staying sane.

I closed my ears and cleared my throat and forced words to come out. They sounded scratchy and broken, and even through all the pain medication I was hyped up on, knives seemed to tear at my throat. "Tell me everything," I said simply, hoping they'd get the idea.

Kendall and Logan each exchanged a glance with each other, mentally preparing themselves for whatever they needed to say. I knew that talking about it probably put them back through the hell they had gone through while Carlos and I were missing, but I needed to know.

"Okay, we'll start at day one," Logan said, mustering up the strength to speak first. I could see tears well hidden behind sad chocolate eyes. I wanted to hold him so badly, but I listened to his story first. "We both noticed you missing at the same time, but it wasn't soon enough. We first thought you and Carlos were playing a joke or goofing off somewhere so we yelled out for you guys, but you never answered. So we went on towards camp, figuring you guys w-would follow us," Logan looked down, guilt evident on his soft features. I frowned with sympathy. He was blaming himself for our disappearance, even though nothing he could have done would have prevented it. "I knew you both knew we're our campsite was and that you'd show up eventually. I had no idea you were lost, James. We waited there for two hours. We thought you'd come back, but you never did." A few tears escaped Logan's eyes and he stopped talking to sniffle and wipe the wetness from his pale cheeks. Kendall put his arm around Logan and picked up where the smaller boy left off.

"We were getting really worried," Kendall said. "Like, more worried than I ever have felt before, because it was dark out and you guys still weren't there. My stomach hurt so bad and I was sweating with fear. I knew something wasn't right, that you two weren't just playing a game. We walked around a bit, calling for you guys. All these scenarios kept replaying in my head that you guys were attacked by a bear or got hurt or bit by a snake or something. It was hard to search for you guys at night, so we headed to the ranger station and pleaded with them to help us find you. They denied us at first, because search parties don't usually leave 'til morning. But we threatened to start our own search party, and they saw we were serious. So they sent out a small search team and made us stay at the ranger's cabin. Well, tried to, anyway. We talked them into letting us come with. We were led everywhere, but only to dead end paths. Each hour was worse than the last. Just knowing you guys were out there alone, unprotected and scared… It was the first time I never was able to help you in some way. It was tearing me apart. I thought I'd never see you again."

Kendall suddenly leaned forward in an act of vulnerability I wasn't used to seeing. He pressed my face against my chest and wept, his salty tears soaking through my hospital gown. I didn't care though. I held him in the crook of my arms and buried my face in his golden hair. He was releasing everything he had been holding in the entire time we had been missing. Knowing Kendall, he probably didn't spill one tear while we were missing, for Logan's sake and for his own. Kendall was strange like that. He liked to be strong until he couldn't anymore.

"You ended up in Manitoba," Logan continued. "That's where you were finally found. God, we were still looking in Minnesota for you. We weren't anywhere near you guys. You trekked through so much wilderness, and you were finally near civilization before… Well, I don't really kno0w what happened, but before you almost died. The old woodcutter said he heard sobbing and came over on his range rover to find you and Carlos, practically frozen together. He thought you were dead at first, the both of you. He wrapped you in blankets and got you back into town as quick as he could. They had to um…" Logan scratched the back of his neck, looking a bit pained. "Y-you're vitals were brought up fairly quickly, though you were placed in critical condition for a while but Carlos… He was dead on arrival and they had to resuscitate him. His body temperature was only 80 degrees."

I felt an invisible hand punch me in the gut when Logan told me that. It was like all the breath was sucked out of me. How could anybody survive something like that?

"How?" I choked out. It was just one little word, but they knew what I meant.

"The doctors said that it's common to be able to resuscitate somebody from severe hypothermia. A body can stay alive for hours in that condition. But Carlos was on his last hour. His body is traumatized. He's been comatose since he was found. His body temperature was brought up to normal, but now he is running a fever from a bad infection in his arm and the pneumonia. They have him on all kinds of antibiotics," Logan told me. "It's been three days since you were found, James. You weren't in a coma, the doctors said you just needed time to recover, and you'd regain consciousness when you were ready. We were afraid you wouldn't wake up either. We were so afraid that even though we found you both, you guys would never wake up again and we'd just have to say goodbye…" Logan swallowed roughly, and I opened up my arms for him to join Kendall. I let their tears run out before kissing them each on the head and pulling away slightly.

"W-wanna see… Carlos," I rasped. I winced from the pain in my throat and coughed. Kendall looked unsure and Logan shook his head, but I grasped their hands best I could pleadingly. Logan sighed.

"Okay, come on buddy," Kendall gave in first, naturally. He never could deny me anything, all it took was one look and a bat of my eyelashes and he'd cave.

I smiled my thanks, sighing with relief. Kendall stuck one arm beneath my legs and the other behind my back. I startled a bit and looked at him questioningly.

"Relax, you can't walk," Kendall said. He lifted me up swiftly. I nervously hung onto his neck, because he never was able to pick me up, seeing as I was much larger than him.

"Don't worry, I won't drop you. You lost a lot of weight while you were gone," Kendall told me. He carried me to a wheelchair and set me down gently, then wheeled me across the white-washed halls of the hospital up to where all the patients who were in critical condition were kept. Everyone was really sick over there. It was kind of frightening. I wondered if Carlos looked as bad off as some of those patients did.

Finally, we arrived at a small room. Kendall opened the door and wheeled me inside. I saw a lump on the bed, covered with a white blanket. Brightly colored balloons with happy faces that said "get well soon" decorated the room, and music was playing out of a radio from the corner of the room.

"They told us music might help him come back to us," Logan told me when he saw I was eyeing the radio. "They say to keep talking to him, hold his hand and give him kisses and stuff. It's all we can do to help him find his way back."

Kendall took me over to Carlos' bedside. Tears immediately pricked my eyes 'cause this was the first time I had seen him since the fateful night we had laid down to die. We had said our goodbye's, I had prepared to never see his face… I thought I was never going to see him again. Overwhelming emotion hit me as I peered at Carlos, who appeared smaller then I remember. He hardly looked the same at all. His skin was a pale gray color and his lips were white. I know a lot of comatose people look so normal, like they are just merely sleeping. But Carlos literally looked sick.

I wanted to stroke his cheek and run my fingers through his hair so badly, but I could hardly move my fingers at all. So I settled on easing myself out of the wheelchair to lay with him for a while.

"Careful," Kendall warned, helping me a little. I settled down next to Carlos and swung an arm over his middle, resting my head on his chest. I felt his small body move up and down with each gentle breath he took, heard the tiny, butterfly-wing sound of his heart beating against my ear. It was all I had wanted to hear, all that I feared losing. My prayers were answered, I got to see Carlos again.

Suddenly, I felt somebody lean against my back. I glanced over to see Logan sitting behind me, watching Carlos as he slept.

"You know, there's nothing stronger than brotherhood," Logan said softly. "Something I learned a long time ago. You're the reason he's alive. He wouldn't be here without you. I hope you know that."

I nodded, tears silently slipping down my cheeks as my body trembled. Kendall joined us on the small bed, curling up so we all fit together snugly. We were all together again, just as we should be, just as I feared we would never be again. Kendall and Logan hugged me as I cried, my tears landing on Carlos' pale face.

"I missed you so much," Kendall said, and I could hear tears in his voice as well. I nodded and sniffed, holding onto him. I missed him and Logan too, more than anything. Now that we were finally together again, I never wanted to let them go. It was the most powerful feeling ever, and it was almost healing. I felt so much better, so much safer, like everything was finally going to be okay.

I felt something stir beneath me, and I opened my eyes, confused. Kendall and Logan noticed this too, because they all sat up curiously.

"Carlos?" I rasped. It was too good to be true. Surely I didn't feel him moving, did I? It had to be my imagination, only because I wanted it so much. I needed it to be true.

Carlos let out a quiet moaning sound. My mind swarmed with relief and anxiety at the same time. Oh God, please let this be real…

"Carlos, I'm right here," I said shakily, wincing at the roughness in my throat. Long, black eyelashes fluttered momentarily, and two lost, innocent eyes stared back at me. I saw the little deer we had met the day we strayed from the path into the woods. I saw the little boy I grew up with and protected my whole life, the same boy who I thought for sure died in my arms. And by some miraculous grace of God, here he was in my arms again days later, blinking those precious brown eyes, full of life again. He threw his arms around me and sobbed in my chest and we all broke down together, four brothers reunited, because there really was no such thing stronger than brotherhood.

**A/N IT'S FINISHED YAY! AH-HAPPY DANCE! I just thank all of you guys so much for reading another one of my stories and sticking with it 'til the end. I just love you so much. I hope you enjoyed this little story. It's just for you guys. 'Til the next story-xoxoxoxxoxoxo! And one last review? ;)**


End file.
